My Father First Made Me An Engineer And Then Chose The Best Husband For Me: They're Jealous

Zoya Khan Zoya Khan in Single Women Bad Women on 7 July, 2017

I am a daughter of a simple man and a sweet mummy from a small town. Since childhood, I had the perception that I will be married off as soon as I complete my secondary education, I’ll have to prove myself as a good wife and daughter in-law. No one ever told me these things, but I adopted these perceptions by the environment I was living in since childhood.

I was a bright student in school. Teachers in secondary school started showing me a different future for myself, better than what I had imagined. I often dreamed about a future where I was standing on my own feet, not at the mercy of my husband, but I knew that I would be married off ultimately, so I should rather not waste the time and efforts of my parents.

My daddy always gave his best to provide the best education for my brothers, but he lost hope from them when he realised that they were not interested, but another flame of hope was lit in him when he saw my tenth boards result. Since it was a small town, the news was spread around that the daughter of this man scored such good marks. I was happy to make my dad proud.

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I was not very serious about higher education because it was a given that I will soon be married off, and neither was my mother, but my father got me admitted into a good college, and that too in science stream, which was a huge thing because all I had ever seen and known was that girls don’t need to study much.  

My mom helped me a lot during my college days. She never involved me in any domestic work and made sure that I was healthy enough to study hard by preparing healthy foods and juices for me. As a result, I scored good in my intermediate exams too, and my father collected praises once again. I decided to pursue BSc, but my college principal told my dad about engineering.

Engineering was a very big word for me, something which I could pursue only in my imagination.

My father did all he could to do research about engineering, the branches, colleges, job, hostel, everything there was to know. In no time, I became an engineering student. Later, relatives started opposing my dad, because he was educating me, a girl. They argued that I will ultimately have to live with my husband and in-laws, and hence using money on my education was a waste. They suggested my father to use the same money to get me married.

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Being a daughter, I didn’t want my parents to be troubled because of me, and somewhere inside, I was agreeing with my relatives too. I had the talent, but I lacked in confidence, which my dad had in me. But my father took the decision, and he executed it. I was finally an engineer, a fifth ranker of the university.

While pursuing engineering, my dad struggled a lot due to the expenditure. My relatives told my dad that they will not help him with a single penny, even before my father said anything.

But they didn’t know that my father is a hero.

He never asked for money, he adjusted with his lifestyle to make sure my expenditures were handled well. While pursuing engineering, I saw a different world. I started seeing my dad's struggle in different ways. Engineering gave me the confidence that I missed in life because of the conservative world I came from. Then, I decided to work hard, get a job, and prove to the world that my dad didn’t do anything wrong.

When someone hinders your growth due to their orthodox mindset, then proving them wrong gives you immense satisfaction.
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I didn't want to waste my talent now, so I was determined to do a job in the IT Sector, and now marriage was nowhere in my plans. I got a job and I was excited to kick start my career, something that none of my relatives had imagined. Relatives again performed their duty well by opposing my decision of working. They started irritating my parents about my marriage, but my parents stood by me and agreed to not talk about my marriage for at least two years.

I lived my life that I had never imagined in those two years. I worked hard and made a very good bunch of genuine friends that made my journey easy and beautiful. My only agenda was to make my parents proud because that was the only thing they expected in return from me.

After two and half years, my parents started searching for the perfect groom for me, I suggested them one, and they agreed, and that's where relatives started troubling my parents. They were in a mission of finding any mistakes on my side, using which, they could wage a war against my family.

My mistake was my parents and I accepted the proposal which was brought forward to me from a well-wisher about a guy who was our mutual friend. I had decided that I will think of any proposal only if my dad agreed. 

My parents continuously supported me and fought against their own siblings to make sure that I had the world’s best husband. And he truly is the best husband. I got a supportive husband amidst all the drama written and executed by my relatives.

My parents had been through a lot during all of this, and people started assuming and spreading false rumours about me. They accused my parents of portraying my marriage as arranged marriage (they thought it was a love marriage). My parents felt humiliated.

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I started feeling helpless. All I ever wanted was to make them proud, but they were disturbed due to me. I didn’t enjoy my marriage because of all that was happening, I was scared of taking any step that would be like icing on the cake for my relatives who were constantly searching for faults in my stars. 

My parents went through a lot, and it is all over now. They are happy seeing me successful, with my supportive husband and in-laws.
Editor's Note:

Don't let the society dictate to you what your dreams should be. Never be afraid to stand proud on your feet. Share this story and give courage to the women who really need it.