My Tough Break Up Taught Me The Biggest Lesson Of My Life

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 13 September, 2017

One of the most important things that a relationship –or a break up to be more precise– will make you realize is the fact that how easily replaceable you are.

There is nothing more painful than watching the love of your life fall for someone else in a short span of time.

Let’s start from the beginning, shall we? I was a school kid when I developed this huge crush on my senior. But since he did not want a relationship then, I did not pursue it. Every day after school, I would call him up and we would end up talking for hours.

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Three years down the line, he started dating one of his friends. I still remember the exact moment when I read the text where he told me he’s dating someone. I was shattered and heartbroken, to say the least. But I put on a brave face and buried my feelings deep down. I was happy for my best friend because he found what he was looking for.

But things didn’t seem to work between the two of them and they broke up after 2 years. We got closer after his break up and soon, we started dating. Those days were probably the happiest I had ever been. I had finally got what I had wanted for a long time. We dated for a good four and a half years before we called it quits. There were a lot of reasons for the breakup. Some of them were silly, and some of them which I just couldn’t overlook.

A lot of people tried to break us apart. And I would end up feeling like I was the bad guy and that I probably didn’t deserve to get all of this.

He always thought I was an insecure person; he still does. But he failed to realize that his actions were what led me to be the person that I was. I tried to mend things for a good 3 months before I decided that enough was enough. I was done with all the begging and making promises and crying.

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Mind you, these 3 months that followed was the worst time of my life. I used to get anxiety attacks. I was in depression. And the only thing that seemed to help was hearing his voice. I would cry in dead of the night, trying to figure out how to make it all right, how to get him to come back. This is probably where I should tell you that we kept in contact even after we broke up. We were always clear about it from the start.

We knew and understood each other too well to let it all go.

After all, how can you just stop talking to someone whom you have known and cared for more than 10 years of your life? You have grown up together; you have gone through a lot of s*** together. But now that I think about it, I don’t know why we decided to stay friends after all.

Today, 8 months later, I understand that he is dating someone new. And just like that, my world was shattered all over again. From talking every second of every day, we have come down to talking barely 10 minutes in a day. And even during those 8 months, we had talked about getting back together, but he didn’t want to because he was moving to a different city and did not believe that we could make a long distance relationship work.

The day he told me he was dating someone new and that they were going to have a long distance relationship was the day I realized that none of it was true.

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He might have loved me in his own way but it’s not the love that I want, that I need.

That is when I realized that I deserved better. That is when I made a promise to myself that I would love myself more and that no one will be able to hurt me the way that he did ever again.

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