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My Alcoholic Husband Rapes Me Every Night And I Cannot Take It Anymore

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I’m a child of the early 90s, just a normal girl with lots of dreams and wishes. I was a very bright student and a hardworking professional. I turned out to be just okay and fit into my roles well. Just like every other family, my family started forcing me to get married when I turned 25. It was not something that I hadn’t expected but I was not ready to have a relationship and a family but since I was the only daughter and my mother had recently passed away, having a younger brother to look after, I had no choice but to get married to the man of my father’s choice for the happiness of my family.

He was nice, and our likes and dislikes seemed to match so I thought I was marrying the right person.

Initial few days of my marriage was all hearts and roses and love in the air and my in-laws were very kind and considerate of my feelings. But all good things come to an end and so did my happiness. One day, my husband came home drunk and on questioning him he told me that it was his friend’s birthday and they forced him to drink. I was a little mad at him, but he had his own romantic way of convincing me and I’m not ashamed of saying, the sex was always amazing.

From then on, he started getting drunk very often and he would not bother giving me any explanation also and my in-laws always took my husband’s side in such situations.

The worst started happening after that, he would come drunk and not talk at all, he would force himself on me even if I protested and told him he’s hurting me, and I don’t want to do it. This started happening every day and my amazing sex life turned into a nightmare. I started dreading the nights and fearing his presence. I love him with all I have but he scares me, and he never listens to me or tries to understand me. During the day, he is such a nice person to me and looks after me so well but when he is drunk, he is a completely different person and he is not ready to stop drinking even though I tried to talk him out of it many times.

I don’t know what to do. I can’t leave him for his habits, but I can’t take being raped every night.

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