It was my 3rd relationship.
I had been through hell in my 1st relationship and the 2nd one made me question my worth. But the one which I thought would be the best one, turned out to be the worst one.
I've seen manipulators, liars and cheaters. I've shared a part of my life with them. But I'd like to tell my heartbreaker this-
What you are doing to me is above every bad thing one can do to a person. Don't call yourself a man when you can't keep your word. You came in my life when I was recovering from my 2nd breakup. You knew my story. I trusted you with everything that was left in me. I believed your words and you were such a good liar. You promised me you'll be there for me through thick and thin. What happened to all your "I love you" declarations, all those promises you made to me? Why did you break up without even telling me what my mistake was?
Did you forget that bright smile I had when we used to meet? Did you forget how happy I was with you? Just because of my insecurities that were a result of all the bad things that happened to me, you left. You gave up on me, you gave up on us.
Such a loser you were, you couldn't even handle a relationship. You didn't even think of giving it another chance when you knew I loved you. I tried to get you back but it all went in vain because you were too stubborn this time. You made me cry and it didn't affect you even a bit.
What kind of love was it? This much of pain was not enough for you so you came back because my condition was pathetic without you. And this was your "ehsaan" on me. But this was the beginning of another painful story. One day you would call me and then another day wouldn't pick up my calls at all. One day you'd say you miss me too, you love me too, then another day you ask me "kaunsa pyaar?"
One moment you'd say you didn't break up and ask me never to leave you, you'd want time alone with me. One day you'd say "we'll sort out things" and the next day you would ignore my texts for 12 hours straight. One day you'd say "I know you love me" and the very next day you'd say "nahi karti tu pyaar".
And when I asked you to leave me because you don't want me and you don't care if I choose someone else for me, you questioned my love. Dude, you gave me thousands of loopholes for me to question YOUR love- praising your ex-girlfriend who still thought she was your girlfriend and insulting me for no reason is enough, to begin with.
You were the guy who was so jealous that you could not bear to see me with any other guy. Then all of a sudden you'd say "go wherever you want to go". But the minute I leave, you magically declare that you still love me.
Why the hell did you do this to me? When I asked you if there was any other girl you denied it; but when I asked you about us, your reply was "no comment". I showed you love and laid out all my emotions, but you only took me for granted. I'm not the kind of person who aspires to be a 'maybe'. I'm not 'Plan B'.
If you're reading this, get this into your head- I still love you and I can't let you go. But I can never forgive you for what you did to me. I'm no longer weak and accommodating to someone as disrespectful as you.
I love myself more than anyone can and this has become my journey for growing stronger. So today, I am letting you go.
I tried everything in my power to keep us together. But I guess you didn't deserve me enough to keep me. I give up.
I know you'll miss me again when you realize that I'm really gone, but you have to do so much more to prove your love for me. Before you know it, it might be too late though.
You only gave me tears and insomnia, so good riddance to you; I hate you! You can continue to be hung up on your potato-head ex-girlfriend or get distracted by your side-chicks. That's not who I am. I quit you.