I'm Seen As The Other Woman Even Though We Both Agreed To Divorce Our Partners

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 10 September, 2017

A guy in my office wanted me to wait for him forever. We first met in an official party. I had joined the organization only 10 days back. He was heading the sales division, so he was definitely considered a big shot. I didn’t know much about him and had just heard his name once or twice. I was introduced to him by my boss and he appeared like a gentleman.

I was feeling suffocated, so I went out to get some fresh air with some of my colleagues. He joined us and started sharing his offsite experience. Others were listening with great curiosity but I was not that keen, so I went inside to grab a drink. The party was pretty good.

After a while he came to me and started a smart conversation. I had no apprehensions about talking with him because he came across as a very intelligent guy. Then he wanted to drop me home. I said, “Yes!”
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Neither my boss nor my colleagues stopped me from going with him. On our way back, we had some small talk. We developed some kind of connection from day one. We started talking.

After a couple of months, I got to know that he was getting engaged. He himself told me about it. He had not yet told anyone else in the office. He used to discuss his fiancée with me. We were becoming friends though we never spoke after office hours.

Then he got married and everyone from the office was invited. So we all went for the reception. He introduced me with his friends. I found it odd because it was his big day and there was no need for him to introduce me with his friends. Anyway, I let it go because I thought he just did it without thinking too much about it. He came back from his honeymoon and was very happy. In the meantime, my parents were also looking out for a suitable boy for me and he knew about it.

One day, he gave me a hint that he was not happy with his marriage. I didn’t want to intrude in his personal space so didn’t ask him much about it. I had seen his wife once and I thought she was a nice person. I thought things will get better.
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Gradually he started talking more and more with me but always within office hours. After some time he had to travel somewhere for work and he sounded very low. He called me for the first time after office hours. I was a little worried for him.

He was very upset with his wife. I tried to cheer him up. We were becoming really close as friends.

We even had a fight someday regarding something very silly. I don’t even remember what it was about but I didn’t talk to him for the entire day in the office. That night, he called me from his friend’s place. He was drunk. I was surprised to get his call when it was so late in the night. He never called me when his wife was around. He told me that it was a boy’s night out but he wanted to talk to me.

He proposed to me. He said he was very comfortable with me and that I was a lot like him. We spoke for a couple of hours.

I was embarrassed to face him the next day. He didn’t say anything in the morning. So I thought he must have forgotten about whatever he had told me last night. But I was wrong. He met me during the break and told me that he really meant what he had said. I did not say anything. Honestly, he was very good to me.

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I really thought he was a genuine guy who was broad minded and mature. I thought he was going through a rough patch. I also admit that I had started liking him.

We never met for even a cup of coffee. We never went out on a date. It was only conversation and Whatsapp messages after office. It was a virtual relationship. But I was content and happy. I never asked him about our future because I knew very well that we never had one.

My parents found a guy for me and my marriage was fixed. This guy lived in another city. I told him about my relationship with the office guy and he was pretty cool about it. He said, “It happens. Not every relationship has a name.” By the way, I didn’t have sex with my office guy. First, I was against it and second we never met outside. He asked me for it but never forced me.

I thought that probably my office guy will ask me not to get married. But he didn’t. So, I thought our journey had come to an end but he will be there for me as a friend.

He called me after my wedding and his first question was whether I had sex with my husband or not. I was taken aback. I had a very good image of him. I always thought he had fallen in love with me but things were not in his favour so he couldn’t take any step. I had to serve the notice period for a month. So I rejoined my office.

I could see a new him. He was so emotional about me. He seemed so restless. He wanted to end his marriage and start living his life with me. I did not understand anything and did not know what to do. I fell into the trap. We decided that we both would talk to our respective partners and ask them to leave us within the coming six months. Then we would get married.
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My ex-husband was another great guy. I told him everything and wanted a divorce by mutual consent. He was quite OK with it. In fact he told me that we should stay together for a while and then proceed for separation as per the law.

I was totally disoriented. I knew nothing was going right. The next day I spoke to my office guy. He asked me the same question again. He wanted to know whether I had sex with my husband the previous night or not. I was a little agitated because I had never asked him whether he had slept with his wife or not.

I told him that, “Yes, I had sex with my husband and it was horrible!” I am not saying that I was a very homely girl but my sex life was not active. Meanwhile my husband hacked my emails and read all our previous conversations. He tapped my phone calls. He started abusing me and blackmailing me. We stayed in the same room for a week.

But I will remain grateful to him for one thing forever. My ex-husband never forced me, though things were really very bad between us.

I was not in touch with my office guy because it was pre-decided that we would sort out things with our respective partners first and then get in touch. My ex-husband and I used to fight every day.

During this time I came to know a lot many things about his family. They had basically deceived us though it was an arranged marriage. I got to know that he had experienced a disturbed childhood. His father wanted a divorce at the age of 75. He even said that my ex-husband and his sister were not his kids. His parents had never been happy with each other. Both of them had illicit relationships. His father used to talk to me but that created another reason to start a fight. One day I told him to ask his mother to stay with us. But then I got to know that they wanted their father’s property and money.

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My life became a circus. I was shocked when my office guy called me. I had told him repeatedly not to get in touch with me as my phones were being tapped.

He came to meet me in my new organization. The previous night, my ex-husband and I had a major fight and I hadn’t slept the entire night. My eyes were swollen as I had been crying for the last few hours.

He saw me and understood that. When he asked me about it, I thought he was the one for me, the only one for me. But my dream was shattered within a couple of minutes. He wanted to have sex with me in the basement. His logic was if I could sleep with my husband, why not with him. I had no answer. I was such a fool. I thought I was in love with this guy. He had kissed me earlier but we had never had sex.

My ex-husband now forced me to quit my job. He had never wanted me to be independent. I am an educated girl, but still I agreed because I thought it might give him an ego boost.

My ex-husband had never been good to me. He had never spoken properly to me. It was only fights and fights all the way. So I decided to stop staying with him.

I come from an affluent family. So luckily I never had to worry about finance. I also knew that I could easily find a job. My parents believe in me and only want my happiness. They have always supported me. Initially my ex-husband didn’t agree but ultimately he had to.  The entire process of getting a divorce took around three years.

My office guy showed his true colours and I came back to my senses.

One day, when I was still living with my husband, he came to meet me in the office and gave me his Face book user ID and password as a gesture of his closeness. He wanted me to see how lonely he was. Yes, I did login and found his chat with his wife on the eve of my wedding. I was getting married to another guy and he was sending “I love you!” messages to his wife. Not only that, he was eager to sleep with his wife as he was travelling for work on those days. I was speechless. I think he somehow forgot to delete those messages.

When my divorce case was going on, he wanted me to commit to him. He wanted me to wait for him till he got his divorce even if it took him ten or twenty years to do so. He said he would start the process only if I gave him my commitment.

As I said, I came back to my senses so I finally told him to get lost. But that was not the end though. He then pulled out his victim card  and blamed me for his messed up life. I got married, went through hell, got divorced and started my new life. And he was still living with his wife.

I spoke to him for the last time a couple of months back. He told me that I was so lucky to live a life like this. He said he was pretty sure I was going around with someone. I knew he would say some c**p like this.

I did block him from every possible point of contact. But he still calls me from unknown numbers. His wife thinks I am the other woman in their life. I wish I could tell her everything. I know that maybe he will do it again with someone else. He can’t remain loyal to one lady – ever. I was not naïve, still I got misled. I come from a good educated family, still I was fooled. But I feel lucky that I got rid of these two b******s.

Author's Note:

I used to blame myself but now I think both these guys taught me a lot many things. Some of the readers may think that my marriage ended because of the office guy. But my answer is “No!” I could never have lived with my ex-husband. The office guy just worked as a catalyst. It was my destiny.

Editor's Note:

We may not believe in destiny and may question things like fate. But often we do not understand the things happening in our lives. At all. When we are finally able to connect the dots, we realize that we were destined for something entirely different. Share this story because this brave woman was able to handle all this with élan.