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I'm Giving Up The Man I Love Because My Father Beats Me Up And Threatens To Commit Suicide

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I was very small. I think I was in 1st standard when my father beat me up for not scoring well in my annual exams. From then on, it became a ritual every year.

My father is a very short tempered man, and I was the target of all his tensions. One day I was beaten up for breaking a glass cup, and another day it was because I had asked for a toy. If I wasn't studying or if I was playing, I would get beaten up. Sometimes he would slap me, use an iron wire, or even his slippers.

I was depressed. I could only play or watch TV when my father wasn't home. Otherwise I would study or sit in a corner. I would feel bad every time my friends used to share good moments with their families, especially with their parents. At home, dad was dominating and mom's opinion did not matter.

My suffering did not reduce as the years went by. When I grew up, my father started interfering needlessly in personal matters- he would decide where I should go, what I should wear and even what cosmetics I should use. For years, I was mentally tortured. I was depressed and I had no confidence.

School was finally over and I was looking forward to college. My idea of college was entirely influenced by what I had seen in movies. With college came new friends, but my life changed very little. I started sharing my feelings and problems with my friends and they understood me. With them, I felt good I just wanted to be in college all the time.

One day, one of my friends proposed to me. I was taken aback. But I had a lot of pain inside and I just wanted to be loved. I finally had someone to spend time with- he cared for me and pampered me. Slowly, I was leaving behind all the pain built up inside me. But my bad luck, my brother discovered that I had a boyfriend and told my father about it.

When I reached home that day, I got beaten up endlessly. The slapping and kicking didn't stop. They used slippers, hangers, rod, anything they could lay their hands on. I was bleeding, spitting blood out of my mouth. My skin colour changed from yellow to green. I was locked up inside a room for 2 months.

I couldn't move my head. Every part of me was broken. I couldn't even sleep because of the pain. I wish I could have committed suicide.

Weeks turned to months, and I really wanted to see my boyfriend and talk to him. After some time, my semester exams came and I was allowed to attend that. We couldn't stop crying when we met, and we both thought we should run away. But my father had threatened that if I did anything else, he would commit suicide, and I was very afraid.

I ignored my boyfriend but we couldn't live without each other. We were together again, but not for long enough. The pressure in my family destroyed me.

They arranged my marriage with someone else. I could not go against my parents, but I can't leave the man who is in my heart.

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