Love Relationships Cheating heartbreak

I'm Doing Just Fine Without Love: It's Trust That I Have A Problem With

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I broke up with my ex and I had a great, obvious revelation. I realized that guys try to show off to the girl they want initially, and after they get them, their love and care vanish into thin air.

It has been four years now since I got that message from my classmate. I was completely taken by surprise when he asked to be my friend.

I'm a very simple girl who hardly makes guy friends, let alone talk to them. But we started chatting, and we kept on chatting for days that rolled into months. Needless to say, we became very good friends. We spoke about everything, including our personal lives.

Four months later, he admitted that he liked me and then he proposed to me. At first, I didn't accept his proposal. But a month later, I did.

He was a very caring person. He would always look after me and he would even ask me the little things like, "Have you eaten?" or "Have you taken your medicines?"

He promised me that he would be by my side, no matter what. And you know, I ended up having deep, beautiful feelings for him. That's what made me accept him as my boyfriend.

Sometimes, we would skip classes to go out on dates. That same year, just before my birthday, we kissed for the first time. I can't begin to express how special that made me feel.

Actually, I don't think I was ready for that kiss, but I went for it because he promised me that he would be mine and only mine. In fact, he even went on to say that if our relationship didn't work out, he would never be with anyone else.

Like any other relationship, we had our ups and downs. And before I forget to admit it, unlike any other girl, I was a really boring girlfriend.

We would only ever meet in college. I would always talk less and he would always get bored with me. But he knew all of this before we got into a relationship and he still chose to be my boyfriend.

Our friends knew about our relationship. But then he always used to compare me to other girls because I was 'boring'. I was madly in love with him, and I was willing to do anything for his happiness.

And then one day, he asked me to send him my nudes. Since I was absolutely convinced that he would be mine forever, I agreed. He also sent me his nudes.

We had every detail about our future planned- even how we'd do the wedding and the guest lists. But you know what they say- things never go as planned.

It has been a year now since we broke up. I begged him for almost 3 months to give me at least one valid reason for dumping me. And now he's in a relationship with someone else.

He would always tell me that I was good for nothing and say that I didn't deserve him as my boyfriend. Then he blocked me on all social media platforms, making it impossible for us to be in touch.

I still don't understand why he left me when I truly loved him. Today I'm afraid to get into a relationship because I'm afraid of being abandoned in the same way that my ex-boyfriend did.

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