If You're An Indian Woman And You Haven't Been Through These Questions, You're Lucky

Sapna Chikhal Sapna Chikhal in Single Women Bad Women on 4 September, 2017

The Oh No Society!

No sooner a Girl is born people start judging her,

"Oh no! Your first child is a daughter; better luck next time."

"Oh no! Your second child is also a daughter.
A boy would have completed your family.
Now who will carry forward your name?"

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During her growing years and teenage years,

"Oh no! Our daughter so dark."
"Oh no! You shouldn't dress her up like a boy, she will never learn to be feminine."
"Oh no! Your daughter plays with the boys of the colony? It won't have a good effect on her, she will fight and shout like boys."
"Oh no! Your daughter plays football, it's meant for boys, she will turn black or she might get hurt."
"Oh no! Your daughter is so thin, don't you fed her well?"
"Oh no! Your daughter is so overweight, why don't you do something about it?"
"Oh no! Why are you spending so much on her education, how is it going to help you?"
"Oh no! It's not safe for a girl to study abroad, what if she gets spoilt, who will marry her?"
"Oh no! Her dress is too short, look she is trying to show off."
"Oh no! She wears make up, surely she wants to attract boys."
"Oh no! She often talks to boys, she definitely has a boyfriend, how characterless."
"Oh no! She is too shy, how will she face the world?"
"Oh no! She talks too loudly, doesn't she have any manners."
"Oh no! You shouldn't allow her for the trip or for a party."

When she is in her mid twenties,

"Oh no! She wants to have a career first and become financially independent, what's the need when she has to marry one day?"
"Oh no! You can't allow her to work late night shifts, it's not safe."
"Oh no! You haven't yet looked for a suitable groom, who will marry her once the appropriate age is gone?"
"Oh no! She is too educated and independent, boys don't like girls like her. How will you find her a suitable match?"
"Oh no! You shouldn't allow her for a love marriage, he doesn't belong to our caste."
"Oh no! She isn't interested in marriage, is everything okay with her? Only a married woman has a status in the society."
"Oh no! She has an opinion about everything, she is acting over smart."

Once she is married,

"Oh no! She doesn't know how to cook food what we like."
"Oh no! She is working after marriage, doesn't her husband fulfill her needs?"
"Oh no! She is just a housewife, wasting all her education or how lucky she is, doesn't have to slog like a working woman and she enjoys her life."
"Oh no! Look at her clothes, can't she dress up decently, she is married now."
"Oh no! She doesn't wish to change her surname, isn't that an insult to her husband's family?"
"Oh no! She doesn't take good care of her in-laws, her mother hasn't taught her any manners."
"Oh no! She is married since 3 years or more and doesn't have kids, why does she need family planning? Isn't it the right age or is she infertile?"
"Oh no! She has 3 kids, couldn't they have proper family planning."
"Oh no! She has male friends after marriage, she must be cheating on her husband."
"Oh no! She is over-protective about her kids, how will she give birth to a child?"
"Oh no! She is such a careless mother, how will she bring up her child?"
"Oh no! She left her kids alone for her career, how selfish is she?"

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"Oh no! She gave birth to a daughter."

And the OH NO cycle continues..

This poem was first published on mycity4kids