I have always been a girl who questions everything about everything, I’ve always had a voice of my own. I have also been labeled as short tempered, bossy, sassy, egoistic, what-not.
But that's how my mother raised me. To be independent, well educated and smart. I admit all my blunders openly as well. And one fine day, I got married before being professionally settled.
As the news broke out, my inbox was flooded with messages, some congratulating and some questioning my decision of getting married at 23. Some went to the extent of calling me a disappointment, that they expected great things from me. Even some of my friends stopped calling me to meet casually, stating that as I was married now, it won't be possible for me to meet them any more!
I agree that life has changed after my marriage but I got into married a liberal family.
Now coming back to square one, my decision was criticized big time when it came to building my career. Comments like “Now you are married, you should concentrate on your family,” is of course true, but these were always said in a way, asking me to choose that lifestyle- like it's a battle between personal life and career, which really appalled me.
I am still a career-driven woman who is preparing for her post-graduation, and the presence of my husband and mother-in-law has only added to the benefit of it.
I married a man who supports me unconditionally when it comes to my career, who gives equal importance and respect to my mom as he gives to his, who considers my mom to be his responsibility, and my mom-in-law is the second best thing that happened to me after my mother. I love her more than I love my husband! Her support is truly unconditional and undying.
So when I tell people that I will be going out of my native place for higher studies or job, they are always shocked! They pound me with questions like “Do your in-laws support you?”, “Aditya has no objection?”, “What will happen to your married life?”, the list is endless. And after all the interrogation, when we all are on the same page , they deem me the 'lucky' one to have been married off in such a family.
What people need to understand is there is nothing called luck. If every mother raises her son the way my mom-in-law raised my husband, the need to entitle a married woman as 'lucky' is eliminated.
I have had my set of doubts, but in the end, I am a happily married woman who loves her family and her career equally. My family didn't take away my right of building my career or treated me any less than anyone, and that is my basic right. This is how people should live their lives. Just because you birthed or married someone doesn't entitle you to control their life or take away their dreams. You don't own them. Before being your son, daughter, sister, brother, wife, husband, that person is an individual who has their own set of dreams and you have no right to disregard them.
Everything, every dream can coexist if everyone involved puts equal effort. I am happily married and studying hard to achieve my goals but I am not 'lucky'. The people in my life understand the meaning of individuality and that’s not luck, that's common sense!
Yes, our patriarchal society lacks it!