I Was Used To People Letting Me Down But I'll Never Forget The Way He Made Me Feel

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 31 August, 2017

I'm just another girl that everyone wants to have as a best friend – the one who lends a hand, the one whose shoulder is reliable, the one who has a solution to all their problems, the one who understands people's emotions.

I'm glad that I'm a support to all my friends as well as those who needed me. I'm really proud that all my friends believe in me and trust me with their life issues, and believe that I could comfort them. I'm happy God made me so.

But the real problem with everyone is just the same – they’re just selfish.
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I mean to say, most people exploit me – even the ones who say that I’m special. Just because I can hold myself up, just because I'm easy to go, and just because I can go a long way and help them even if I have nothing. I do not feel bad when some people do it, because somehow, I know it already. 

But he came into my life a few months back. Then eventually, he told me "I love you the way you are..", "You are special to me", "You are more important to me than anything!".

We told each other stories, we made plans, he spoke about romance, he spoke about how he missed me when I didn't call, he gave me suggestions about my dressing, he kept on saying that he loved me.

More than anything, he made me happy, he made me smile, he said he cared and he showed it as well.
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I went a long way and did everything I could to help his situations as I loved him. I did them not because it was hard for him or that he was near me. I helped him because I wanted to show my love for him. He always said how my hair looked sweet with a bun, how some colours complimented me, how pretty I was. But we didn't meet in person at all because we had no time to do so.

Even though my brain calculated the time every now and then and hinted that the end is near, my heart kept consoling me; love blinded it. But one fine day, I was just texting him, calling him some names, just pulling his leg. He replied "Stop calling me that, just call me a friend!". I thought he was playing me. But then He told me that he was going to call me and sort things out. A boulder started rolling around my heart, breaking whatever is left of it.

He never called, so I took the initiative to ring him up and ask what it was all about? He said, "After all, I spoke to you as someone I have known already! Just be with me as a friend! I have no intentions of marrying you. Maybe I flirted with you a bit, but they were only of friendly intentions!" He continued speaking, and each word of his chilled my spine. As he finished, I sat there stupefied, horrified, deceived, wasted, and dead of emotions.

I just lay there, totally shattered, and whining with pain. It was so much for me to handle. Further, two more facts that added up to my pain was that he’s cousin of a very close family friend, and that we met on a matrimonial site. It was extremely painful to think that someone as special as him did that to me. I felt like a useless trash can, which gets picked up when people needed something and placed back in its place once the work is done. It didn’t bother me before, but this time, I'm almost totally crushed.

Even though I look alright to my family and friends, this is going to consume me through the process of recovery as I have no shoulders to support, save for mine.