I am a 23-year-old girl who is full of life, have friends and family yet I feel lonely sometimes.
At some point, my friends start ignoring me because we don’t meet on a regular basis and at home, my mother and brother taunt me every minute for being overweight. Even though, they know that it is due to some health issues yet they chose to ignore.
This led me to depression and when I was suffering through, I met a guy through a common friend.
Till now, I hadn’t made any guy friend or boyfriend because I was waiting for my Mr. Perfect. So after meeting him several times, I had started falling for him slowly. But I knew I would have caste issue with him in our marriage, so I started to distance myself from him. Even that didn’t work.
He proposed me but due to my insecurities and fear, I rejected him.
But with his constant attempts, he made me realize that I was wrong. He would love me whole-heartedly and make me believe in how beautiful I was. I started living in my own fairyland and was eagerly waiting for the day when we would get married. My happiness soon came to an end when I started checking his phone. I found close chatting with various girls. When I confronted him about it, he promised me not to repeat it again but after six months of a relationship, he started humiliating me by saying that I was good for nothing.
Despite everything, I still want him in my life because he was my first and my last love.
One day, he broke up with me on messages saying that her mother wouldn’t allow inter-caste marriages because that would create conflicts in his family. (I was from Himachal and he was from Uttar Pradesh). I requested him not to leave me and tried to assure him that I would love his family members whole-heartedly but he never took any stand for me. In fact, I even pleaded him to meet me for one last time but he never did. For the past four months, I had tried hard to forget him but in vain. Whenever I tried to contact him, he always ignored my call and messages and also blocked me from all the social media sites.
He had once said that because of me he wasn’t able to talk to any of his female friends and that made him feel suffocated.
But I never told him to leave contacts with any of his friends. I had only asked him to stay in his limits while talking to them. But he broke my trust again and my world came crashing down. It has been months since this incident took place but I can’t seem to get over him. I am not able to move on. My life again took a reverse turn where I am all alone with no friends and family to support me. And on top of it, he gave me trust issues.
But I still miss him. He was my first love, of course. I hope he soon realizes his mistakes and the pain which I am going through; the pain of betrayal and loneliness.