"Somehow my soul is connected to him...problem use hoti hai toh aansoo meri aankhon se nikalte hain"
We all cherish the memories of our first love. Life is really unpredictable; we don't know which U-turn it will take suddenly. This exactly happened in my life. I was happily married and my life revolved around my hubby and kids until he entered into my life again.
He was the person whom I had loved since the time I didn't even know the meaning of love.
He was my brother's fast friend. I don't know how I started caring for him, I could feel some kind of affection in his eyes also but we never confessed our feelings to each other. My love for him was pure and beyond physical attraction. I truly loved him and cared for him from the core of my heart but never tried to make him mine. I always wanted him to keep rising and smiling in his life. Years passed by but we never said anything.
Every time he came in front of me, we just passed smiles to each other and nothing else.
I again realized my love and care for him when once my brother and his car met with an accident. My heart skipped a beat when I heard this. I was worried about my brother and him too. I prayed to God for him and I was relieved when I saw him fine. Again I didn't say anything to him.
Maybe it was our destiny that we were not made for each other.
In the coming years, we both got married with our better halves. But I always missed him and somewhere my love for him was hidden in my heart. My life again took a big U-turn when we started talking on messenger without any intention. Soon we shared our numbers and started to send texts and make calls to each other. This time we both confessed our feelings to each other but we knew that we couldn’t be together. Maybe this time I didn't want to lose this beautiful opportunity that destiny had given to us. We had to be in our respective marriages but I didn’t want to lose him again.
My life is beautiful when he is with me.
I love my family a lot but I love him so much. He is somehow connected to my soul, koi problem use hoti hai toe aansoo meri aankhon se nikalte hain, uski khushi mein mai khush aur dukh mein dukhi hoti hun. I am sure he also doesn't know that I love him so deeply. He is always in my prayers. I can't see him in any trouble. His life is very complicated, only he has the responsibility of his whole family.
He can't give me his time, but a single message from him has the power to bring a smile to my face.
But I never make him realize how much I love him beyond the physical attraction. I can't stop loving him until my last breath. Recently his mother got expired and I know I am not his family so he didn't tell me about this. Luckily, I got to know about this sad news and I went there with my mom and son. Only I know how I spent that night because I wanted to see him as soon as possible.
As soon as I reached his place, my eyes were only looking for him. When I saw him, I so wanted to hug him tight and cry on his shoulder but my bad luck. I know we live in a society which can never allow me to do so. I don't know where our life is going but I only know that he is in my heart. Woh mere pyaar ko itna deeply samjhe ya nai but I can't stop loving him.
I always pray to God that his life stays full of love and happiness.
I know I can't be in his life permanently but my love for him would never fade away. I only want to say to him that only you are my first and last love. I always want you to be a part of my life. Please never disappoint me. If you ever want me to let go from your life, then please tell me but please mujhse kabhi jabardasti ka relation mat banana. You know how emotionally I am attached to you. I love you my khaddddddoooossss.