I Want To Marry The Man I Love But This Is How My Family Will Ruin It For Me

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 18 June, 2017

I am a 24 year working woman. I am a mechanical engineer, but being an "independent" girl, I still feel like I'm in a cage.

Now you would wonder why I feel so. Well, I don't respect the men in my family. Why? I don't like my father and brother anymore. There was a time when I used to think that I am my father's princess, but this illusion broke when I came to know about the bitter truth about my family. My father and mother, they fight a hell lot. He sometimes raises his hand on her. He did the same with me when I was at home for six months, and was waiting for my joining date in a company. He raised his hand because he didn't like the way I was eating my food. My brother was not like this before, but now he has become just like my dad. I wonder what he will do to his wife. There is no emotional attachment.

My brother, who is younger to me, once said to me that the family had already spent so much money on my studies, and couldn't afford my expenses anymore. I wish my joining date was sooner, because even six months were too much to handle all this.
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I tried my level best to make my parents love each other, but there is no sign of love. I have made a way out for myself by living in another city for my job. 

Three years back, I fell for a guy. I am a Hindu girl and he is a Christian boy, and he loves me a lot. He respects me. He is the only person who lets me have my peace of mind. He is the one who helped me come out of depression. But I am damn sure that my father will not let me marry him. 

When I was in college, he had even warned me that since there are lesser girls in mechanical branch, I shouldn't dare talk to boys. I am a classical dancer, and I was not allowed to give stage performances in college because he used to think that I may become the center of attention, and someone may fall in love with me. How to make him understand that nobody can control their feelings?

It's a long story. I don't want to get married in my own community because I am scared that the boy will have the same "good values" as my father and brother. Moreover, I will not be able to fall in love again. It will be a compromise. I can't love anybody else other than my boyfriend.