I Told Him My Darkest Secret And He Used It To Slut-Shame And Control Me

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 9 February, 2018

I was 17 when we met through a mutual friend- she borrowed my phone to call him up and that's how he got my number. Soon afterwards, we started talking with each other, or I can say I was addicted to the charm in his voice, even though we had never met each other.

Born and bought up in a patriarchal family with strict rules, he was the first man to come into my life. I told him about all my secrets and took him to every nook and corner of my life.

I even opened my heart and shared the horrific sex exploitation that happened to me from a fatherly figure when I was a teen. I believed him so much that I even cut ties with my friends.
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He was the centre of my universe. We met in between, after some months and he made some sexual advances in the very first meeting. I felt that was completely normal. That day he told me that I should stop using heels since he is a little shorter than me and asked me to reduce my weight since I didn't look good. Those were the compliments I got when we met for the very first time.

Things took a turn after some time. He wanted me to talk to him every time he felt like talking. If I accidentally fell asleep in the middle of the night on the call, he would call me back on the landline and wake up my entire family. My mother got suspicious after a while and one fine day, she caught me.

She begged me to leave him, but I couldn't do that.

Meanwhile, I joined in the very same college where he was studying so that we could make things work without the distance complicating it. That was the worst of it. He made me regret everything I did. He made sure that I made no friends there. He made me believe that I look like a whore because of the way I was sexually assaulted as a teenager. I had nobody to share this with and my life was living hell.

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He used to call me names, brand me as a slut. He even started to hit me whenever he felt like.

Once when we were going back home on the bus, someone touched me inappropriately. When I told this to him, he said I deserved it because I looked like I was asking for it. That's it. That was the last straw. I broke up with him immediately. But he was completely against the idea of breaking up.

He apologized, cried, begged me but I was firm in saying that I didn't want him.

We were studying the same course and he had a lot of backlogs to clear. So he had all my textbooks and notes. He threatened to never let me have them back if I refused to reconcile with him. He even started making up stories to slut-shame me. I never thought of going back to that hell.

It has been 5 years now. Recently, I got a friend request from his new girlfriend. I found out from my friend that he is finally into a relationship after 2 years of me getting married to the love of my life. I don't know why she sent me a friend request. But all I want to wish her is this- let her not have to face all hell I had to face with him.

Editor's Note:

Share this story if you think that men's lives seem really easy, especially when a woman is paying the price for it. Quite obvious, looking at her abusive ex-boyfriend, isn't it?