This is the story of how I found myself while losing someone. Going through a break-up is always painful. More so when it happens after a nine-year relationship that includes four years of dating, two years of fighting with family to convince them for marriage and three years of marriage life. It is actually one of the most deadly phases of life. One can see how things around are falling apart, and how dreams are shattering and yet one has to move on.
It is rightly said, to come out of immense pain, one should hit bottom so that the pain doesn’t feel like a pain anymore.
Eventually, you will find inner peace and happiness. I am posting this for all such girls who are going through a rough patch in their lives. Mind it! You are never supposed to love someone so deeply that his actions start affecting you. No one is powerful enough to drive your mood and emotions. And in case you have already fallen in this trap and have given your control to someone else, take a pause, think and get back the control. This journey is full of mixed emotions and moments – Pain, hatred, anger, non-acceptance, introspection, and self-improvement. Hit the rock bottom! In the beginning, it’s certainly going to be tough. Every morning you will appear strong in front of the world. And at night, you will shiver thinking about the same person. You will hate and love that person simultaneously. Just because you can not seem to be strong enough to let him go, don’t you dare feel bad about yourself, pity yourself or think about accepting that person’s wrongdoings. Just spill out your emotional energy, and let negativity move out. It doesn’t matter how much time it takes but you have to cleanse yourself.
Refuse to be unhappy!
Eventually, one day, you will be tired of crying. From that point, the process of introspection will begin. Talk to yourself, rethink what you have gone through and what made you go through that pain. And most likely, the answer you will get will be: “It was you who pushed yourself into this situation, so it has to be you who shall push yourself to go through all the shit”. During the bad phase, you forgot that you had no control over the other person’s behaviour, actions and most certainly, feelings. But you have a hold on yourself. Forget the negatives, forgive the mistakes of the other person (for your own good), and learn from the mistakes you committed – knowingly and unknowingly. Recently, I read an interesting phrase -
“It’s not your fault that you’re fucked up. It’s your fault if you stay fucked up”.
Reboot your life, believe me, it is possible! Remember, revenge is never a good idea as you are again wasting your time thinking about that person. Do not devote all your energy to a lost cause. Instead, channelize all your energy towards your betterment. Start with the process of self-reliance, self-improvement, and self-discovery. Take a break! Think about all those things that you always wanted to do for yourself, that genuinely make you happy.
Initially, start to look for ways to avoid the rush of negative emotions and don’t let them consume you.
With time, those ways will become boosters of happiness and positivity. Follow a healthy routine, pick a good book, make friends, travel and tell yourself repeatedly that, “life is amazing. I own my life, and I am the one responsible for my happiness”. This is how I have overcome my tough time. Now I look forward to overcoming my fears by challenging myself. While I work on my next blog, I want to leave this one with a note of reminder: life will be tough. Keep holding the steering of your life in your hands and enjoy various phases of life by switching gears.