I Never Dreamed About Marriage And My Failures Ensured That I Couldn't

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

There are some unwanted incidents that happened to me which changed my life and my perspective totally. Through my story I want to tell everyone out there, don't change your originality for anyone, you are unique in your own way. You need to understand yourself. I'm a simple girl who has lots of dreams to become something in my life and achieve my goals. I'm totally different from others, I am always thinking that I want to fulfil my dreams. Ever since my childhood, I'm not interested in marriage nor do I want to go in any kind of relationship. Somehow I avoided these things successfully. In my childhood, I wanted to become a space astronaut but at that time I didn't understand that my destiny had something else for me in store. In my 10th standard, I did not get the kind of grades needed to opt for science and my dream was broken there.

I cried a lot and then I decided to study law after my 12th but my father didn't allow me to study abroad.

So I got admission in a Catholic college with a social science honours degree. Of course, as I came from a vernacular school, for me it was very difficult to adjust in that college because everything was in English. My biggest problem was that I could understand but I couldn't speak it. For six months I faced this problem. I came home and cried lots because some students would tell me that how could I manage to understand the lectures when even they could not understand.

Somehow I could not adjust with the environment of the college but I made up my mind that I will adjust in this college by hook or by crook.

In my 2nd year, someone entered my life. I never knew what was going to happen to me. Suddenly I found myself bunking classes, lying to my parents for him. But then he left me in the middle of it all, giving me excuses like his parents won’t agree etc. I cried a lot and my results also turned out bad. I even had to pay a fine in college because I bunked many classes. I could not tell my parents also about the fine. I am completely broken ever since. I decided to focus again on my studies because I have to prove myself. At the end of the day, I have to satisfy my inner self because my father thinks I'm unable to do anything because of my bad results in 10th and 12th boards. Finally, I graduated. I might have thrown that guy out of my mind and my heart too because he came around and I rejected him. I have proven my worth to my father and my inner self now. I cannot blame anyone for anything that happened to me because it is totally my fault and I accept my mistakes. I try to learn from them and move on. One more thing I want to tell everyone here, I learnt that the feeling of love is temporary. Some people will come to teach you and some to pull you down. Some may bring you up, but at the end of the day, you have to choose what you want from your life. Enjoy your life, live for yourself. At the end of the day when you stand in front of yourself, you only have to face yourself.

So decide whether you want to face yourself with regret or satisfaction.

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