Mine was a love marriage; well at least in the beginning.
I got married to a Rajasthani boy. He was a doctor. We met through ‘find a friend’. I did not know him or his family. I am a Maharashtrian girl, born in a progressive Mumbai family.
We fell in love. It was love at first sight. We decided to get married after meeting only once. Soon we eloped without telling our parents.
Since he was working in Delhi, I continued to stay with my parents after marriage till we officially tied the knot in 2013. I did not know anything about his family or culture. He never took me to his house but frequently visited mine. He knew I wasn’t the kinds who would sit at home and work. I was an outgoing person. He also told me that he’s going to work extremely hard so that I could lead a comfortable life.
However, soon after marriage, he decided to quit his job and get transferred to a village in Rajasthan.
Thankfully, that didn’t work out. He did not involve me in any of his future decisions. He did not want to finish his post grad, did want to stick to one job, and it got to a point that we could not afford our own house. I had to move in with my in-laws.
I tried to adjust with my conservative minded in-laws in the hope that my husband will change one day. He never studied; all he wanted to do was have fun. While I worked at home to please my in-laws, he spent his days watching TV and hanging out with his friends.
It became harder and harder for me to live in that house because the ‘bahu’ wasn’t even allowed to step out alone.
When I told my husband about this, he said, I’ll have to adjust for some more time, and that we’ll move to a different city soon. That never happened. He never kept any of his promises; in fact, he didn’t even try.
He expects me to change for him, but doesn’t try to change himself even a little. I think getting married to him was the biggest mistake of my life. I should have listened to my parents.
He expects me to be the ideal wife, whereas he is far from an ideal husband. I feel neglected and ignored. He never appreciated the sacrifices I made for him and his family.
If I make a small mistake, he makes sure he humiliates me in front of people. I used to be such a focussed, ambitious girl, and now I am merely his shadow. I cry all the time.
I hope I can leave him; I am with him only because of societal pressure. I have lost complete interest in my life. I want to kill myself but don’t have the courage to do that either.