I Loved Him So Much That I Couldn’t Ask Him To Stay. I Was Afraid To Hear A ‘No’.
It all started again with a message. I was at Kolkata airport when I received two notifications on messenger. I replied with “Yes, you messaged me on FB,” after unblocking him on WhatsApp. He replied, “When are you coming back to Delhi?” I said today and switched off my data.
But yes, I was in love and I am still in love with him. So I switched on the data back and there were few messages. “Aksha, do something I can’t live without her. I am here standing in front of my apartment crying and waiting for her to reply.”
My world had stopped there for a second and I had a flashback of few memories.
We had broken up just two months ago and I was still struggling to get over him. I used to cry every night before I went to sleep. It was tough for me. But even after two months, he was on the same page and was seeking my help for some other girl. I couldn’t see him crying so I tried to calm him down and made him comfortable. I took the girl’s number from him and called her up. She acted naïve to me and I still don’t know why. She agreed to talk but only in my presence.
I just prayed that God gives me the strength to handle all of it.
I landed in Delhi and to my surprise, Anshuman was waiting for me at the airport. This had never happened before. I was a frequent traveller and each time, I took a cab back and headed home. I called her without wasting much time as I didn’t want to stretch this meeting. They met and spoke for hours. There was no conclusion though.
He invited me to his house because he wanted to share every detail of it and we took a cab together for his place. We talked and he started crying. It was difficult for me to see him this way. We made love that night and he was being sorry the whole time. I got up and told him that I was getting married.
I stayed with him for the next one week and we made love many times.
We shared everything possible and we reached a conclusion. Today morning, he left for Bengaluru and I helped him pack up his things. I even went to the airport to see him off as I knew I wouldn’t be able to see him ever again.
I blocked him on WhatsApp and Facebook in front of him and wished him good luck and left.
I know for a fact that I will never be able to overcome these feelings; the feeling of not being with him, feeling of true love will never leave me. Yes, I love him and will always do. I am in a cab right now writing this story with my eyes full of tears. I wish I could stop him and say, “I love you. Please don’t leave me.