It all started when we met in college. We became friends and soon fell in love. I poured my heart and soul into our relationship for 7 years. I always thought of him first. I accepted him the way he was. I never tried to change him and even when I did so occasionally it was only for his own good. I never threw any girly tantrums. I never asked him for any gifts.

I was happy with just his presence in my life. I got a lot of happiness and peace just being with him.

I have seen girls taking advantage of their relationships with guys. They treat their boyfriends like drivers cum ATM machines cum puppets. I never thought of him in that way.

We shared a beautiful relationship which was full of love and respect.

I forced him to discuss our relationship with his mother. She wanted a daughter-in-law who would stay with her at home. So I changed my mind and decided to give up my career for him. I thought I could start something later on. I wanted to forge a bond based on understanding with all his family members first.

We moulded ourselves to create a perfect relationship.

My past experiences in life had made me believe that I did not deserve happiness and love in my life. But when he came into my life, I felt like I was a butterfly who had beautiful wings. I could now flit around freely and be happy. But he proved that I was wrong. He crushed the butterfly and left it after breaking its wings. I was heartbroken. I knew I would never heal or trust anyone again.

I begged him to believe in our love. But my love did not stand a chance against a deep-rooted belief like kundali.

The kundali said that leaving me was the best possible option. So he left me because he wanted me to have a happy life ahead. Really? How am I supposed to fly? You took off my wings! His words still echo in my ears. He said, “Trust me. I will never leave you. Trust me – everything will be fine.” I wanted to tell him that trusting him was the biggest mistake of my life.

When you are in love with a person, you give yourself completely to that person.

And that is when love starts playing with you before it finally breaks you. That feeling of pain kills you every second. You can feel your love stabbing you straight in your heart and the knife too will remain embedded in your heart forever.

I wish you could understand all this: The future is any way uncertain. None of us knows when we will die. A kundali or fate cannot change the inevitable. You said, “Life itself is a gamble but I can’t take that kind of a risk.” You tried to convince me for six days and after that, you left me.

And that is what broke me the most. How can I collect the broken pieces of my heart when you took it away with you? How can I feel happy when you are not there with me? I can fight with the whole world for you. The love that I have for you is pure. But when you are not a part of my life anymore, whom should I fight for?

I wish you had trusted me just once instead of trusting the kundali so much. Things would have been so different in our lives now.

I feel as if I am dying every second. I feel emotionally drained all the time. I was a girl who was full of life and laughter earlier. Now that you are no longer a part of my life, I feel lifeless.  I feel as if someone is stabbing at my heart continuously. I feel as if you have left me to die in the middle of the road. I can never trust anyone now. I will never get married. I feel as if I don't deserve love or happiness in my life. Love murders the real person that lives in our hearts. That is why people put on a façade for the outside world.

Some things still make no sense to me. How can a piece of paper be more important than trust and love in a relationship?

The kundali says we are not meant for each other. Can the time of our birth decide the fate of our lives? Why do people believe so much in fate and not on karam? People say that if something is written in our fate – it will happen. Where is all this written? If it is written in our fate that we will become a millionaire – why do we work so hard all through the day and night to earn a living? Why doesn’t our kundali just leave bags full of money at our doorstep? If it is written that we will become millionaires – we should become millionaires even without doing anything, isn’t it? How can people get influenced by such things? Don’t they have a mind of their own? I am still searching for answers.

I know only one thing for sure now. I love you a lot – even today. I may have won in the game of ‘love’ but ended up losing everything in the game called ‘life’.

Share This Story