I Knew He Deserved Someone Better, But My Heart Still Hoped He Would Choose Me

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 26 June, 2018

It all started from the day I met him for the first time. I knew of him; he was my friend’s brother and I had heard a lot about him. That day, we were all catching up with our friends and he was there too. It was a day I would never forget.

I was at a point in life where things were changing for me. I’d just gotten out of an extremely emotionally abusive relationship of six years. My ex-boyfriend was suave and charming, and I had made him my ultimate priority for too long, so long that I had nothing left to give myself. He ended up lying to me and cheating on me several times and despite my numerous warnings, he wouldn’t stop.

He effectively crushed my self-esteem and dragged my pride through the dirt.
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I had finally had enough and decided to break up with him and move on with my life. That was when I met you. I met you again while I was running an errand for your sister. We started bumping into each other more often, we even exchanged phone numbers and would chat and text often. But slowly, you stopped replying to my messages and answering my calls.

Today, I come here, in the hopes that someday you may read these thoughts and feelings that I have penned down, thoughts that I have never been able to share with anyone. I know that you think that what I’m feeling is a mere attraction, but I can’t stop thinking about you. I kept praying to not remember you, but I never succeeded. I know that I’m not the girl of your dreams and that neither you nor your family would ever accept me because of my dating history.

In my previous relationship, I kept thinking that every guy was the same, but you proved me wrong.

I know you will never accept a girl like me and I honestly believe that you deserve someone better than me. You think I am very emotional and impulsive and although you know me well, you don’t know everything about me. I am a very emotional person, but I am also extremely strong. I have faced many adversities in life with a smiling face and I have never let hardships affect me negatively.

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I have written something special for you that I want you to know:

Agar dharti amber se milne ki khwahish rakhe to kasur dharti ka hai, amber ka nahi…

If the Earth wishes to meet the Sky, the fault lies with the Earth, not the Sky…

Editor's Note:

We all know the feeling of self-doubt when someone makes us feel like we are not worthy or that we do not deserve the person. I like the way how the author stood up for herself and established her point of view without compromising her values and judgments. Share this story if you feel the same.