I don't know why I am writing this but one thing I know is that if I don’t, there will always be something hurting me.

I met a guy when I was 17. That guy was chasing me for the past six months, he got my number from somewhere and called me and said, “Yesterday, I saw you in front of your house and you were playing badminton. I really liked you and blah blah blah!!” I disconnected the call without answering because I was shocked. This had happened to me for the first time and I was the "shareef" types.

Then he started following me, whenever and wherever I went.

I also started noticing him. Then after a few days, he again called me and this time, I answered his questions. He wanted to do friendship and I clearly said NO but he insisted and somehow, I got convinced as he was calling and messaging me every day. And now, when I was convinced, we started talking on the phone every day and he always said to me that it was his ‘love at first sight.’ We used to talk only on phone and never met as I was scared as it was my first time.

But soon, after a few months, we met for the first time. He proposed to me officially and I said yes.

I was so happy, and so was he. We would hang out together and be enjoying a lot. Although my mother had a hint about us as he used to live near my house but was not aware that we were in a serious relationship. Then one day, my father came to know that I talk to this guy. He was furious at me and told me that he knew this guy and his family very well and they were cheap people. He called him “awara” and informed me that he plays betting and what a hard-core drinker he was. I was shocked by hearing all this. I cried the whole night and the next morning, I called him to meet me.

He claimed that everything my father had said about him was complete bullshit.

But gradually, as time passed, I started noticing things. Whenever we went for shopping, he always used to stare at other women but I ignored. Soon after, he had a fight with few guys as he had lost 20 lakhs to them in betting and he told me the same. I was so much in depression that everything my father had told me about him was becoming true and on the other hand, I knew that I couldn’t live without him.

One day, when I was coming back from my college, he said that he wanted to talk to me. He wanted me to leave my house and marry him. I clearly said no hen but when I reached home, I got into a fight with my family and I agreed to go away with him. That was the worst decision of my life. He was just playing with my emotions.

We went to his cousin’s place and started living there.

This phase of life was so horrible. We had taken a rental house in another city, only we both were living there. His parents used to visit us sometimes. His family declared that we got married but we never did. It was just a formality I had done by signing on the marriage certificate but we never got married according to our Hindu rituals.

This man used to beat me a lot, his family used to taunt me and I used to earn as there was no source of income.

Sometimes I had slept without eating anything. But he was hardly concerned whether I was alive or not. He used to harass me a lot; beat me up in the car, insult me at public places and what not. But the immature girl I was, I accepted it all. And the worst part was his family always supported him despite knowing about his activities. It made me wondered if this was the same guy I fell in love with. 

One day, when all the limits were crossed, I finally ran away to my parent’s house.

They readily accepted me and when I told them how I was abused, they filed a complaint against him. Soon, the complaint was taken to the court and now it had been more than three years, we are still fighting it.

But this man never realized his mistake, instead, he would tell my lawyers that he would never leave me and keep harassing me the same way.

It has been almost four years we are not in touch at all but I cannot forget whatever he did with me and why he did this to me. I left my family and my home and he never respected me. Also, I am still a virgin as he never tried his love to grow.

Why did he do this to me? I loved him a lot but in return, I got nothing but only hatred.

I don’t know whether I will fall in love again or not but yes, he had hurt me a lot which I can never forget until my death bed.

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