I Hope My Baby Saves Me

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 26 September, 2017

My father expired when I was very young. He left behind six members of our family, two sons unmarried) and three daughters (eldest one was married and two unmarried) and my mother. I am the youngest child. My mother and eldest brother used to be orthodox people. They would always follow the teachings of my maternal aunt and uncle. When my father passed away, I was pursuing the second year of my college and it was very difficult for me to finish my final year as they were against my education.

According to them, if I become over educated then it would become difficult for them to find a suitable match for me.

We had shifted from Nagpur to Delhi, and here my mother’s health had started to deteriorate. She had soon become a bed-ridden patient. I didn’t study further after my graduation, and had started working in a trading company. After my eldest brother got married, his behavior towards us completely changed, and he would only think about his wife and himself. My second brother was in love with a lady who was nearly ten years older than him.

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My second sister found a match in her only friend and we all agreed for her marriage because there was a dispute between both my brothers and they wanted to get separated.

So only I was remaining in my family now. My elder siblings found a match for me from a so-called social marriage temple, the match was seven years older than me. They did this so that they could live their lives in peace without any further responsibilities from our home. The match chosen for me belonged to another cast, he was not well educated, neither was he financially stable or settled. He was chosen for me only because of his cool and calm temperament. Within a week, I was engaged to this man. My in-laws had not even invested a single penny on any of the wedding ceremonies, all the costs were carried by us.

For my wedding day, they brought third class clothes which even a maid would have rejected but even after all this, my siblings gladly gave my hand away to him, in marriage.

After just a week of my marriage, my mother-in-law started taunting me on my choice of clothes and the blanket given to them as a wedding ‘gift’. In the second week, she asked my husband how much my bank balance was. I had no idea what her intentions were. After ten days of this, I found out that my husband had taken a loan for the wedding and my in-laws were looking to clear off the amount through me. I had left my job just a few days before my marriage to initially get accustomed to my new home and family better. But after the third week of my marriage, my mother-in-law started forcing my husband to convince me to start working again. I was totally taken aback by her demanding behavior. When I discussed this with my husband, he ignored me by saying that his mother is his priority, and he will not accept a single word said against her.

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Then my mother-in-law started taunting me on small matters and this began creating differences between my husband and me.

I didn't have any other choice but to bow down before her, and I started job hunting just after a month of my marriage. I assumed everything would be fine after this but my mother-in-law was cooking something else in her mind, as she saw suffering in her daughter's marriage. Her daughter was struggling daily and so she wanted to see the same in my case also. Maybe this is why she raised small matters to my husband to create trouble in our marriage. I attempted to commit suicide twice because I saw no other escape from this situation.

One day, out of frustration, I left my job and sat at home. During this time, my eldest sister and my other friends suggested to me that once a baby comes into our lives, my husband will start taking care of me.

Therefore, I went to a doctor and I discovered there that my husband had low sperm count. We started treatment for this and during the same time, we got the news of my sister-in-law’s suicide and it shook me deeply. This was the first time when I spoke to my mother-in-law with a louder voice because she knew of her daughter’s suffering all this while, and instead of resolving it, she had tried to create the same instability in my marriage. She got angry with me then and again tried to get her son to fight with me. I found out that I am pregnant and broke the news.

She was still trying her best to convert her son against me and the same pattern repeated. He abused me and my family to the extent that it led me to pack my bags and leave that house.
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When I reached my elder sister’s house, she refused to accept me in that state and demanded that I abort the baby, only then she would permit me to enter her house. If I followed her command then I was damn sure that my marriage would end. Also, she anyway wouldn’t have let me stay at her place for more than two months.

I was confused but decided to face the music as it is. Today, I am seven months pregnant and suffering from a blockage in one artery, which is why there is also minimum blood supply in this pregnancy.

My mother-in-law and husband still have the same attitude as always. I have no option but to stick to this path. All I can do is pray to a Lord who exists somewhere out there, to somehow make my situation better and to make the tables turn in my favor once my baby is born.