I’ve been married for the past five and half years and have a beautiful son. There are times when things between my husband and me seem amazing.
Then there are times when I think, why the hell did this have to happen to me? Why?
I was in a relationship with someone else for almost 11 years. Initially, we were in a long distance relationship until I finally shifted to the city of dreams. Nothing made me happier than spending time with my love. He was loving and caring. We loved each other a lot.
Suddenly, my sister eloped and everything changed overnight at home. It changed our lives.
My father wanted to get his daughters married as early as possible. He was worried about the society which did not really care about us; all they could do was poke their nose, have some fun, and leave. But he wasted no time in finding a suitable match for me, and soon, things were fixed.
Now, the guy (my father's choice) insisted on a meeting, though I did not want to. But, I had to give in. We met and I told him about my disinterest in getting married.
However, my parents convinced him that it was only because I was too attached to them.
Cutting a long story short, my parents got us married. My boyfriend and I couldn't even break up. I was depressed, but no one really cared. He kept calling and messaging until the last day and even after my wedding. He hoped that I would leave my husband and be with him.
But I was the ideal Indian daughter. How could I bring a bad name to my father and the entire khaandaan?
I gave it a shot, to be a good wife and spend the rest of my life with my husband. There was a time when my husband read my messages, old ones, and he got furious.
We fought. I cried the whole night. I was helpless and no one tried to understand my situation. Actually, no one cared.
I hated my life. I hated myself.
Then, things started getting better. We did have our shares of fights and we still do.
I also tried to talk to my ex but he thinks I betrayed him. I broke his trust. Really!? He was the one who never even tried speaking to my father! He says he loved me and did everything possible. But no, he did not!
My husband and I have had fights and he's hit me twice. We fought today as well.
He hit me again, and the best part is that he doesn't even feel guilty! He thinks it's okay.
According, to him, I am at fault. I earn more than him. I am highly educated and not a single person in his family has that kind of education.
I am the only female working in his entire khaandaan.
I majorly contribute towards all the expenses, even towards his parents and brother. These men think that a woman should not be straightforward and outspoken. Why, if I may ask?
I am not inferior to any of these men. Why should I bear so much?
I have not even written half of what has and is happening with me. I am stressed to a major extent.
And, I don't really know if I am actually at fault.
Why are women always responsible for everything that goes wrong? Why do men think that it's their birthright to abuse us in any and every form?