I Have A Clever Mother-In-Law And I Can Never Understand Her Politics

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 16 August, 2017

I loved a boy and got married to him. It was an arranged marriage though we knew each other and fell in love before we got married.

I don’t understand the politics of my mother-in-law. Ever since I came to this house, I have found my mother-in-law to be a very dominating person. She wants everything to be done exactly the way she wants it. If I try to bring any changes in anything, she shouts at me and scolds me. When I discuss the issue in front of my husband, she changes her statements completely. Because she does this, I am not able to prove my point to my husband.

She shouts at me saying that “You abuse my family!” She also abuses my mother and I can’t hear anything against her. I want to make my husband understand that I am not turning him against his mother.
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I want my husband to see the kind of person his mother actually is. He has never spent much time with the family so he does not realize how she behaves at home.

Many of my relatives knew her or had met her several times. Before I got married and even after I got married, all these relatives said, “Your mother-in- law is very clever. She is very dominating!” But because I loved my husband I never believed anyone. But after living with her for more than a year I have observed her carefully.

She suspects a lot. She sends the servant to check what I am doing. She tells the servant how bhabhi is and how “she gets up late and does everything the way she wants to” and so many other things. When I tell all this to my husband and he confronts her, she changes her statement and says that she has not said any such thing.

From every servant I get to hear some negative stuff or the other about her. She always complains that my family has not given any gifts in the functions or the wedding. When she says this, I explain things to her and tell her that everyone gives things the way they want to and not the way you want them to and how we need to warmly accept them.

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She gets so angry and starts talking to me arrogantly. My husband never believes me and thinks his mother can never say such things. Now, whenever she says something, instead of telling my husband I try to get her to confront me in front of my husband. But she always says “I did not say this and I said something else.” I feel so heartbroken because I am never ever believed.

She tells my father-in-law that 'she doesn’t do any house work'. She wants to sit back and relax and wants servants in the house.

Guys, I have worked here. I used to get up early to cook breakfast, lunch and dinner and never got any help or appreciation. For more than a month this went on. I asked my husband to keep one more servant because the one that we had was fully occupied in doing his parents’ work. I told him that I too needed help. He had a word with his parents and they decided not to hire a servant and we used to fight due to this.

My husband knows how adamant his mother is with everything. But instead of supporting me and saying that he is with me, he compares me with my family. He says, “You only have complaints about my mother. You have to make space for yourself in the family. I can’t help you in this.”

Author's Note:

From the very first day I am trying my best to win their hearts but she is such a lady that no matter what I do she will never appreciate me. Instead she finds faults in me and says all kinds of things to my father-in-law and turns him against me. I am going through so much but now it is really getting too much for me to bear. Sometimes I feel that after giving a baby to my husband, I will die because now I can’t handle it anymore. Whether I confront her or talk about her later on to my husband, she never accepts anything. Please tell me what to do.

Editor's Note:

We need to accept ourselves the way we are without worrying too much about others accepting us. This newly married woman will slowly – but surely - learn this difficult lesson. Share this story if you too feel so.