I Got Married To The Man I Loved When I Was 21 And I Feel Ashamed That I'm Still Living With Him

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 7 June, 2017

I come from an upper middle class family. I was doing my CA at the age of 21 when a boy entered my life. We started talking and at last he succeeded.

I was ready to give up all my dreams and get married to him at 21.

He was 30 years old at that time and was a property dealer. He was from a small town called Bhawani mandi and his family was financially not that strong. He lived in Kota though, and promised to fill my life with happiness; he told me we’ll stay in Kota post the wedding, away from his family.

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He vowed to get me a job in Kota once we moved there. I fell in love with him but what he did to me after the wedding is unbelievable. He gave me a shock on the very first day of our marriage; I made halwa because it was my first day in the house and he yelled at me for making more than required.

He would hesitate when I asked for even 10-20 rupees. His property business shut down soon after marriage. He refused to take up a job and when I told him that I’ll work, he said,

"Women who work are characterless, and that he won’t allow me to earn money." 

I was shocked; he didn’t even allow me to talk to my friends. My parents helped me a lot financially even though they were not happy with this marriage. They had already warned me about the guy but I was a fool. In return, my husband verbally abused my parents.

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I was just 22 years old when I got pregnant. At 23 I gave birth to a baby boy and any chances of having a career got ruined.

After giving birth, I realized that I need to become financially independent and complete my education. I waited till my baby turned 2 as there was no one in my family to take care of him. I started my CA coaching; my parents paid for it but my husband still had issues with it. He wanted me to give time to our child and household chores. When I told him that we’ll need the money, he started abusing me. My child was so disturbed seeing all this. Only for my child I dropped CA and now I take home tuition. I take care of his and my financially needs.

My husband doesn’t want to fulfill any of his responsibilities; I can still deal with that but the fact that he doesn’t want me to work, earn or even talk about money is just absurd. He only wants me to cook for him and wash his dishes.

One day when I asked him to call his mother to Kota so that I could get some help for a few says, he told me she can’t come down because she is a widow and I will understand his situation only when my mom becomes a widow. It was so hurtful.

I am still living in his house and it's shameful.