It has been two years since we got apart. But the pain hasn’t lessened a bit.
Remember that night when we met for the last time. I was holding your hand and called you baby. I knew that was going to be our last for everything. I can never forget that look on your face when you sat down inside the cab and looked right back at me from the back glass. I had tears in my eyes then.
How could you just go like this? You were gone in just a blink of an eye.
I didn’t ask you anything then but there are so many questions unanswered in my head. You were just gone from my life for real. You moved on so quickly with P***** that it felt like you were just waiting to get rid of me so that you could hold her.
I did a stupid mistake in my life. I fell in love with my best friend.
Yes, he wasn’t some guy from college or office but my best friend from school. We were in a long distance relationship for almost one and a half year. He later cleared that we were just together to fulfil our fantasies. But it was too late for me; I had already fallen for him by then. How couldn’t have I loved him? We called each other baby and said I love you every day. I loved him unconditionally, beyond limits.
After nine months, when he called me and said that he was seeing someone else, it broke me.
What hurt me more was his words. He said, “I know all about your ex-boyfriends and I have seen you move on easily from your ex. So you will forget me too. No big deal.” I couldn’t believe him. I started crying hard and he was making fun of me. He said, “Sorry, if that helps.” No, it didn’t. How could it when the words were so blunt? What was he really thinking?
Hey you S********, I know you are doing great in life. You and your girlfriend are happy together. But I want to let you know that I am not happy. I feel terrible without you. I still spend sleepless nights and cry in washrooms at home and office. Moving on is not easy for me. I put so many pics on Instagram and WhatsApp and I look so happy, right? That's because I know how to live without you.
I know how to pretend to be happy without you.
What I still haven't learnt is that how to forget you. Never in my life do I want to meet you again. If you are reading this and can take a guess that it’s about you, then you should know that I can never forgive and forget you. I will cry in the corner, but that’s okay. I don’t ever want to cross same paths with you. Please never try to find any reasons to talk to me again. I will heal but my scars will remain. I don’t need you to bandage my wounds. Life will go on.