I Fell In Love Like I Had Never Been Hurt, And That Ruined Me Even More

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 6 June, 2018

You know how that feeling of love, how it takes over every emotion that you've ever had? It feels like it's the best thing that's out there. And especially the teenage love, the time when all you sappy romance lovers (like me) want to sit up late hours watching 'the notebook' and texting that one person that you love.

Maybe I was in love. Or maybe I was in love with the mere idea of love and it spun such beautiful dreams for me. Dreams that I didn't want to wake up from. Dreams that I still wish were true.

I'll tell you a little story now, there was a little princess who lived in a big castle of glass. The glass was shiny without a single hint of dirt or cracks. She personally took care of all her windows. She treasured it until one day someone threw a huge stone right through her windows. She was hurt, crying, broken. The glass was her heart and the pieces were shattered. And she was too tired to fix it. So along the way she met a guy. One who knew how to mend windows and hearts. At first, they hit it off as best friends. She knew about heartbreaks and didn't want to experience it. So she kept her distance until he kept coming back to talk to her and spend time with her. And he was funny, charming, not the most handsome she'd seen but there was something about him she didn't find in the other men. And she fell in love. With the man whom she thought loved her too.


They shared sweet moments, memories, long walks, and beautiful words were exchanged. One day her best friend told the man about the princess and her feelings towards him. He confronted her and told her it would've been better if she'd come forward to tell him the same. And that was the end of that conversation. It all went back to how it was. Sweet nothings. And she was happy. However, one day he left. And didn't turn back. She wrote letters and tried contacting his friends. But he'd left. And now she threw herself past the glass window. There was no one to pick her up. She stood there, blood dripping from her veins, in the pouring rain waiting for him to come back and say he was sorry to have left her. He never came. And she went back to her usual self. The healing process wasn’t easy. It took her a year and more. Yet every time she heard his name, she would jolt and feel goosebumps.

She healed finally. But 2 years later, he came back saying sorry and that he was stupid. That he loved to talk to her. And he'd always liked her, but as a friend. So the princess wondered all the while what were all the sweet nothings for if he wasn't interested?

The princess never asked because she didn't care anymore. She wasn't ready to be heartbroken again. Yet another guy came along, he was everything the other guy wasn't - caring, lovable, charming and cute. It was like her life was on repeat. Sweet nothings, dreams and memories. She had more stuff to hold onto now. This time she stepped it up, waited for a year to tell him how she felt. She was drunk one day and told him everything. And he told her that he was in love with her friend. She knew and wasn't interested in him and was hitting it off with another man. The next day she told him she was drunk that day so she didn't know what she was saying.

And he believed her. However deep down in the corner of her heart, she knew how badly she'd already fallen. Now she just hoped she could heal again.
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