I Dated Him For 5 Years Before We Got Married: This Is Why I Have To Leave Him Now

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 21 June, 2017

I was born to be in love. That's what at least I have believed all my life. My story is about never leaving faith in love. I got married 10 years back with the guy whom I had known and dated for 5 years. I was living in my imaginary world of a beautiful fairy tale in which a girl gets married and lives happily ever after.

I believed him and his promises of loving me forever, but life changed soon.

Being born and brought up in Delhi, I was a flamboyant girl with beautiful looks and impressive social skills. He stepped into my life and convinced me that he was the perfect one for me. He promised to stay by my side forever. I was so in love with him that I didn’t realize that I was only in that relationship to pay my bills, get him gifts and to bear all the expenses of our dates. I thought it wouldn’t continue after we get married. I left my job, left my family and friends, changed my way of dressing to be a part of his life and family like most Indian women do.

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Why do women get married- for love, companionship, to have a happy family, for a physical relationship? I got nothing. I was the only one putting in efforts to make that relationship work. After our marriage, he didn’t give me a single penny, even to buy sanitary napkins for myself. I had to do everything on my own. I loved going back to my parents' house because they loved me for who I was. They never wanted me to change. Seeing my room, my own wardrobe, going places with my parents made me realize that I was not living a life I always wanted to.

My husband and I never had dinner together at home. I was just cooking, taking care of the house and waiting for him every day hoping one day he will speak with me and take care of me. I wasn’t expecting much, but a normal married life.

I tried to dress up in a manner that will attract men, but he didn’t pay attention to me. I knew him for 5 years. How could I go so wrong? He started insulting me in front of his family and friends for having an opinion.

We had a beautiful girl child and I thought having a baby will change everything. But I was wrong again. Nothing changed between us. I had my daughter with me now, but I still felt lonely. I wanted to talk to someone who could understand me. I started talking to my old friends that became the reason of our fights every day. I asked him to talk to me then. But he didn’t. Fights were a part of our life now.

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With each passing day, I was getting more disturbed. He started sleeping in another room, eating alone and talking on the phone all night. Every single night, I cried myself to sleep. I come from a family where divorce is no less than a sin- probably worse than murdering somebody. My parents told me to adjust by saying that each relationship has some problem. I was left with no choice but to adjust. I was a PhD holder, but all my education was going nowhere. What was I doing to myself?

One day he decided to move permanently to the other room to have his own personal space. I was left alone in the room with my daughter and a bundle of responsibilities of the house and his parents. I accepted it as my destiny. I started making friends in my neighborhood so that somehow I could live a normal life and have friends to talk to, but it became one of the reasons of our fights. I was a working woman, taking care of the entire house and family. I used to spend all my salary on household expenses because he never gave me money for anything.

Every night I prayed to God, to not do this to me. I had already suffered a lot. It had been three years since we'd started living in different rooms. Even when I was sick, there was nobody to look after me. I was dying every day. My family and friends told me to adjust with the situation and made me believe that everything will get normal. But I didn’t let my faith in love die. I believed in it totally. 

One fine day, I was just checking my messenger and I saw a message from an unknown guy. He texted me saying, “Hi”. We had some mutual friends on Facebook. I replied to his text. We started chatting soon. Gradually, I realised that we had developed a wonderful bond with each other.

He was 10 years younger than me but understood me like a mature man.

We both met and realized that we were too perfect with each other. I am highly grateful to him because it was his support that motivated me to take a step and get out of that bad relationship. I am in a happy place now. I am living at my parent’s house and have filed a case for legal separation.

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I had never imagined that one random guy will change my life forever. I can't thank him enough for changing my life.

After 10 years of that disgraceful marriage, I am fighting for separation. My husband says,” No matter what, I will always keep you trapped and you will die with my name only." I fought for 10 years just to be with him as his love and wife and now when I am fighting to get separated, he is not allowing me to do it. 

Author's Note:

I wish this story creates an impact and he realises that life gives you chances and you should take them. Forcing someone into a relationship never helps.

Editor's Note:

Share this story so that no girl faces such situation. It is better to get out of a relationship that suffocates you every single day.