I Choose To Live With An Unfaithful Man But I Always Make Sure To Live On My Terms

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 2 June, 2018

Like all other women, I too was living in my own bubble of happiness. I thought I had the best of everything.

I knew my prayers had been answered when my boyfriend became my husband. I had a lovely family. We lived with my in-laws. My precious little princess was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

I had known my husband for 4 years. I had been married to him for 3 years.

Well, one fine day the bubble in which I lived burst when I found out that my husband had been cheating on me for the past 9 months.

She had sent him a text and it had landed on my phone. My husband and I had the same number but only the last digit was different. Maybe when their secret came out in the open it was their karma that was catching up with them.

I actually sat down to read that text. I then took my husband’s phone and noticed that my name had been saved as “Manager” and that girl’s name had been saved as “Sweetie.” Her name had heart symbols in it.

My heart broke into a million pieces that day. I felt a sharp shooting pain in my stomach. When I confronted my husband he said, “We just like each other. There is nothing more to it.”

I then decided to speak to her. I felt even worse after doing this.

Initially, the girl was adamant enough to say that she wanted to marry him. She said she was willing to wait till I divorced him. I had to speak with her for a couple of minutes for the truth to come tumbling out.

My husband had lied to her. He had told her that he was unhappy in our marriage.

I had been pregnant when I got married to my husband. And they had been sleeping behind my back for the past 9 months now. My husband would lie to me saying that he was going to his friend’s place for a drink. But they would spend the night at a hotel.

I also came to know that he had promised her that he would get rid of me and start a new life with her and my kid.

He had assumed that I would let go of my kid for him. I found that very difficult to believe.

I really lost my temper that day and ended up slapping my husband.

I threw my mangalsutra at him and asked him to leave the house. I told him that I would leave the house with my kid if he did not do so. Fortunately, my mother lives just a few blocks away. He started saying that I had never been happy with him. He then said that I had lied to him and had cheated on him by going out with other guys.

That was it….I realized that it was his mistake and he was blaming me for it. I decided to leave him right there. I took my daughter, packed a few of her clothes and stepped out of the house.

He started pleading now and begged me not to tell anyone about it. I knew he was a mess now. I literally felt like kicking him on his a*s. I wanted to ask him if he knew how painful it was to deal with such things.

I knew I had to spend some time with myself before I worked my way out of this mess. So I took my daughter and walked out to my mom’s place at 1.30 in the night.

My husband kept begging me for forgiveness. I felt as if my life had fallen apart. I had always been faithful to him. I had always lived up to his expectations. I had managed to keep the family together despite having an egoistic mother-in-law. I had done everything I could for him. I had been there for him when he was not financially stable. I had stood up for him when his family had called him an irresponsible son.

I had been there for him through thick and thin. I had never asked him for anything except for his time and his love.

I sat down that night and tried to figure out what had happened. I could recollect all the things that he had told me over these past few months. I wanted to jot down everything so that I could make some sense out of the whole thing.

I realized that he had planned this with that BITCH because he wanted me out of his life now.

I was angry with myself for believing his lies. I was angry with him and that girl because they had lied to me. They made me believe that he was just friends with her.

I returned to my husband’s house after a couple of days. I did not engage with my husband in any way. I tried to lead my life as normally as possible.

After a few days, this girl called me to ask for my permission to talk to my husband. I just asked her one question. I said, “Did you take my permission before screwing around with him when he was married to me? No – right??? Then why are you asking me for my permission now?”

I knew they were talking for hours together. I knew she was questioning him for a long while. Sometimes he answered her. Sometimes he kept quiet. I let them speak to each other for as long as they wanted to.

I just knew I wanted to end all this from my side. When it was time for him to speak to me I had already fallen asleep with my daughter in my hands.
I woke up suddenly and realized that my life had changed. He was waiting for me to wake up. I felt terrible. I felt as if I meant nothing to anyone anymore.

I then felt a tiny little hand holding my hand and calling me “Mummy!” My face broke into a smile. I knew I had one reason to live. I said to myself, “I have a reason to live. I need to bring up my daughter.”

I quickly made breakfast for myself and my daughter. Yes, I didn’t include him. I didn’t want to feed a poisonous man. He saw me laugh and smile with my daughter and broke down completely. He held my hands and asked me to forgive him. I looked him in the eye and said, “You lost what any man would wish for.” I just walked away after saying that.

My daughter is 3 years old now. I still go to work. I live under the same roof with my husband. I am happy when I am with my daughter. I could have chosen to divorce my husband or to separate from him. But that would have made my daughter’s life miserable.

I didn’t want her to choose between her mom and her dad.

A lot of people including my family members asked me to leave him for good. But it is so nice to see your husband suffer for his mistake.

Maybe I am a negative person. But this is how I choose to live my life.

I was the best he could have asked for yet I did not get anything good out of it. So I don’t think I am wrong in choosing to live my life with him on my terms now. I no longer need his permission to visit my parents or friends.

I live my life my way with the love of my life – my daughter.
Editor's Note:

Let’s share this story and learn to take complete charge of our thoughts and emotions from this young woman. A little maturity, some big-picture thinking and an overdose of self-control keep our turbulent emotions in check. We cannot always have a ‘cut and dried' approach to life. Our decisions have an impact on other people's lives too. We may be trapped in a loveless situation but we can always create our own personal peaceful space even in extremely negative situations.