I Am Not His Only Girlfriend But He Says He Wants To Marry Me

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 1 November, 2017

I met him when I landed my first job. I found him to be the quietest and the best person amongst all the boys in my batch. I fell for him. A few days later, when we were having our lunch, he revealed to all of us that he was already committed to a Muslim girl called 'A'. I did not feel sad or depressed when I heard this because I knew I just had a crush on him.

Even if I like a person or have a crush on someone, I rarely approach the person directly. I am scared of rejection and find it embarrassing. That is how I have always been.

But that day when he told us all about his girlfriend, I decided to tell him that I had a crush on him. I knew he was already committed. I expected the obvious answer. I thought there was nothing wrong in being open and telling him the truth. So that very night, I told him that I had a crush on him. I was utterly shocked when he said that he had the same kind of feelings for me as well.

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I was totally confused. He then revealed the details about his girlfriend to me. He said that he was a Hindu and she was a Muslim. So it wasn't so easy for them to get married. They had already decided to break up mutually because she was going to get married in a few months. I too told him about my ex-boyfriend. I told him that my ex-boyfriend had slept with another girl while he was in a relationship with me.

I also told him that I had decided to sacrifice my love for that innocent girl and had moved on with my life.

I wanted to share all these things with my current boyfriend before we started on our journey of love. In a few months, we got into a relationship. His girlfriend, A, too had left him because she was engaged to someone else now. Apparently, she had fallen in love with him after meeting him. Since he too was a Muslim, they both got married after a few months. So, his previous girlfriend was now out of the picture.

My boyfriend and I were happy together. He was my most prized possession and vice versa. One fine day, a girl, L, came into my life. This girl, L, told me that my current boyfriend was in a relationship with her for the past four years. I was shocked. I approached my boyfriend and asked him about it. He told me that she was lying. The very next day, I got a call from the girl, L, and she told me that she had just been kidding.

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I apologized to my boyfriend because I had doubted him.

We spent a few months together and like all relationships we too had our share of ups and downs. I abused him when I got angry and apologized for being rude to him when I realized my mistake.

I am not at all egoistic. I knew I was his most loyal girlfriend.

I helped him out during his hard times as well. I had loaned him a huge amount of money too. Things were smooth sailing for us. Last week, the person from whom I had borrowed money, started harassing me and asked me to return the money to him. He contacted my sister and told her everything. My sister knew that I had given it to my boyfriend. So I gave him a deadline of 10 days. I asked him to return the money within that time.

We had a huge fight because of this. I met him yesterday. We fought and I was about to break up. But he assured me and said that he won’t leave me. We compromised and things were normal again. While I was about to leave him and return home, he received a call. He immediately took his phone and went further ahead to talk over the phone.

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That is when I became suspicious. I asked him whom he was speaking with. He told me it was his sister. I asked him to give me his phone. But he refused to give it to me. I then asked him for her number. He refused to do so. I snatched his phone and before he could do anything, I drove away from him.

I called the number and found out that it was the same girl, L. She confessed that she was still in a relationship with him.

I told her that I wondered how they both had managed to be in a relationship for 4 years because he had broken up with his previous girlfriend, A,  just a year ago. She too was shocked to hear this from me. She said that she had assumed that A was just a friend of my boyfriend. I told her about their love story.

L and I spent one of our worst nights yesterday. My boyfriend is still not agreeing to the truth.

After a few minutes, I opened his Facebook account. I saw all his conversations with L. He had often told her that he loved her a lot. I approached him with this. He told me that he had sent such messages to her as a friend. But I know that they were not friendly messages. I told him that I did not want to get married to him.

He was annoyed with me because I was changing my decision every 5 minutes. So, finally, I made up my mind and was very clear now that I did not want to continue my relationship with him. I have given him 5 days time to return my money and move out of my life.

Author's Note:

He had told me that he would come home today and tell my dad that he wanted to get married to me. I had agreed to this without a second thought last week. He is saying that he will return the money and still says that he will talk to my parents about getting married to me. I don’t know what to do. Please do help me with your suggestions so that I can take a good decision.

Editor's Note:

Maybe we all realize how much a relationship really means to us only when we are on the verge of losing out on it forever. A little time spent apart should suffice to give this beautiful young couple the much-needed clarity. Let us hope that by the time we share this story they have resolved their problems. Maybe they have even moved on with renewed faith in their relationship.