How I Realised A Girl Shouldn't Be Allowed To Dream Of A Perfect Married Life

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 21 August, 2017

Like every other girl, I also had dreams of getting married to the love of my life. To get the best family after marriage.

We were the best of friends before we got into a marital relationship. My husband is the best person ever (may be that's for every wife). He is still the same as he was before marriage. Supportive, caring, loveable! But everything cannot be perfect in life. You gotta be damn lucky to get everything just like you'd wanted. Definitely I was not among those.

Before getting married, I used to dream of a "Hum saath saath hain" type family setup. Being the only child to my parents and in a nuclear family I used to feel really lonely. So I always wanted to get married in a joint family.
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We got our marriage arranged by our family members. My in-laws were really good in the first 2-3 meetings but we were getting to see their real faces eventually. Somehow they started asking for money instead of furnitures or electronics to be gifted to them by my family. My parents refused and gave the furnitures and electronics only. During first few meetings, my parents explained everything. That we belong to a middle class family and don't have anything to give except a daughter. They were happy and just asked for good wedding arrangement. We were also okay with that.

I hate the concept of lavish weddings but still I agreed to spend lacs and lacs of money which was may be my parents' entire life savings.

So I got married and after a few months, got pregnant. I somehow had complications and had to get an abortion. I lost my fallopian tube during the surgery. My in-laws were crying in front of me but they weren't really upset. I got to know about the facts later. I was staying at my mom's place during recovery but that too they could not digest. They asked my husband not to bring me back home but he got me back after I recovered.

I started cooking, doing household chores the very next day. I don't know if they would have done the same to their real daughter.
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I got more infections after that surgery and had to undergo another surgery within 3 months. This time I was not even allowed to stay at my mom's place. Courtesy: My in-laws! I went to my sasural with raw stitches on my stomach, traveled nearly 100 kms by car in that condition. And started with household chores again in 2 days.

All because of such instances I cannot conceive naturally anymore. It's been 8 years to our marriage and we are still in the hope that we will have a baby. My husband had had enough with all this so he took me out of that family. We are happy with each other now.

Now I really believe, in-laws can claim that "humari beti banke rahegi" but they cannot accept their bahu as beti. So is the case with bahus, their in-laws cannot become their real parents. 

Author's Note:

If a damad can be given such respect in a girl's family then why can't a bahu be given the same amount of respect by her in-laws?