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He Was My Safe Space Until He Started Hitting Me

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

When I first met the man of my dreams, it felt magical. He was everything I wished for - tall, gentle, kind and a helpful human. Looks were never a major point for me but it wasn't the same for him. He kept pushing me harder to look beautiful and stay in shape, which I did to keep him happy. I had a miserable childhood with sexual abuse being a major issue. It is something that my parents are unaware of and I guess I like it better that way.

My Mr Right handled my problems, he held me through my panic attacks and made me feel safe.

However, time took its toll and a year later we started fighting a lot. I realized that he was a massively insecure person and he hated me talking to other boys in my college. He hated my brothers and best friends and accused me of doing unimaginable things with them. He has anger issues, he even hit me and slapped me. I stayed thinking it was love and I never regretted it until later. As time passed, I realized that he was a monster. A sadist who loved to dominate me in every aspect of life.

Yesterday he showed me his true face, we had a minor argument which made him go all crazy and he ended up calling me a bitch and a cheat, a career-minded bitch.

I tolerated until he abused me but the minute he called my father a gold-digger I had it. My dad is the reason I am an independent doctor in the making, without his love and support I would be lost. I ended things and headed to the library where I sat studying. He followed me and came up to me half an hour later. He took my phone and smiled, then asked me to come take it from him. I went behind him hoping he wanted to talk and sort things out. Instead of talking, he hit me. He slapped me and strangled me over and over again. I hit him back which agitated him even more. For 2 hours he hit me until I fainted.

That was yesterday, I got back to my hostel room feeling upset and I wanted to leave. I wanted to quit and cry in a corner of the room. I wanted to just disappear.

That was yesterday, but now I want to live my life because I may be physically abused by him but there's nothing wrong with me, it's him that needs help. I'm someone who loves what she's doing and will save so many lives in the future, my existence makes a difference. I let him harm me again but no more.

I've learnt to stand up for myself. I don't need this. I'm a strong girl, raised well by my dad.

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