He Warned Me Every Day That He'd Leave Me If I Didn't Obey His Orders: This Is How I Left Him

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 5 June, 2017

He came into my life in the year 2013, we're family friends, but we never spoke with each other before. Next, he sent me a friend request on Facebook. Eagerly I accepted it. Even we exchanged numbers on that very day and talked the whole night.

He was five years older than me. Then he started calling me every day. Initially, he used to flirt but later he started discussing his future with me. During the same time, he used to tell me about one of his colleagues who was having an affair with his manager but somehow I guessed that it was his own story. It did hurt me, but I said nothing.

Suddenly after a month, he stopped calling me. Even I never dared to call him. After a few months, he texted me on Facebook asking if I loved him and I said no.
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Next, he called me after 4 years in February 2016. He told me that he wanted to settle in life and was looking for a girl who could be his bride. I listened to him and answered casually. Next, he proposed me for marriage and I took the time to decide. Finally, I agreed to marry him after my mother gave her consent. It was not my love for him, but I thought that he belonged to my caste and the families knew each other and he appeared mature. So I accepted his proposal.

But I clearly told him that my family is my priority in life. We are four sisters and as I’m the eldest, one could understand my responsibilities towards them. Moreover, I always wanted to be the pride of my parents. He said he would help me achieve my goals.

Finally one day, he came from Delhi to meet me in Pune. After a long time, it was our first meeting. Excited to see him, I decorated the whole room with candles, flowers, and balloons. But when he came he appeared disappointed and didn't appreciate my efforts. He wanted to see me in a traditional attire with some makeup. I honored his desire to see me in a traditional dress but with minimal makeup.

So he didn't like me in that simple look. He was quite rude in telling me that he was quite tensed because I didn't look beautiful.
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I had bought a Fossil watch, clothes etc. for him and he gifted me a basket of chocolates. I spent around 50k in order to buy some good make up accessories and traditional clothes and this is what he gave me in return. I felt nervous and my self-esteem was hurt. Next day I went to meet him in a simple top and jeans, wore no makeup but put on my spectacles, surprisingly he found me attractive.

One day I asked him if his parents would ask for dowry and he said yes. I told him that I can't marry him because I don't support the dowry system. To this, he started explaining to me the concept of dowry and how right it is, but I didn’t agree with him. Finally, he convinced his parents not to take dowry and our engagement date was fixed.

Suddenly one day he started a weird discussion. He asked me the purpose of life. How did life begin on earth? So I told him the scientific facts but he said that the Holy Quran has some amazing scientific facts and I said I’ll check later and ignored the discussion.

One day I composed a poem for him and he said he was not interested in poems. I was hurt and I cried the whole night. He knew that I was upset but didn't bother to call me back. Next, I sent him some gifts online and he reacted with annoyance as if he got disturbed when the gifts were delivered. He didn't send any gifts on my birthday. On being asked about the reason, he gave way to some lame excuses that were lies, yet I said nothing. Once his salary was late, he asked me to send him Rs 55000 as he had to pay some EMI. I immediately transferred the required amount.

Then he started to make my life decisions and demanded that I should stop hanging out with my friends as he didn't like it. I listened to him. Next, he asked me not to wear western clothes and I agreed to that as well.
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One day, we had a small fight, though we sorted out the matter he said that I must never get angry and fight with him for my entire life. So I planned to surprise him. I booked my tickets for Delhi and boarded my flight at 12:30 am. I landed there at 2:30 am and took the taxi alone, though I knew it was quite risky to travel alone in Delhi. I traveled a distance of 40 kms and upon reaching his office, I gave him a call.

While in the flight, I wrote for him a diary saying how much I loved him and was so sorry for the fight. But I realized that he wasn’t happy with my surprise. I stayed there for a day and then came back.

After that finally, we got engaged and very soon after our engagement we both traveled together to Delhi. It was then that he started with his Quran topic again. He started to teach me how Muslims pray and do Namaz. I interrupted in between as I reasoned that we both were Hindus.

One day I wanted to go for a movie but he refused and said that he doesn’t like watching movies. But I knew that he used to go for movies with his ex, I didn’t complain.

My flight back to Pune was on Sunday at 11:30 pm but he wanted me to reschedule it and I obeyed. My flight was rescheduled for Monday morning. In the morning he dropped me to the airport. As I was standing in the queue to check in, I realized that I was missing him badly. I came out of the airport and called him to pick me up. Finally, I booked the night flight to Pune.

After I reached Pune, his behavior became weird. I couldn’t feel any emotional connect between us and he had a scientific answer for it. 'Illogical' were his words and we had a fight over the matter and didn't talk for five days. He didn't bother calling me and finally, I ended up calling him. But again he got very aggressive. He said that if I ever raised my voice in front of him, he would leave me. He talked to me in a very disrespectful manner, but I somehow sorted the issue.

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One day during our conversation, I told him about my career and that I was planning to switch my job. Shockingly, he said that career mustn't be my priority, but reading Quran should be. I was scared and I started researching about it to prove to him that it was all wrong and irrelevant. I tried my best in explaining the facts but he said that if I didn’t accept Islam, he would break the engagement.

I was depressed because the society knew about our engagement. And I started to think from the start and I remembered that he used to go somewhere every Friday and never carried his phone. Finally, I spoke to his parents and they said that they knew it.

I told them that I didn’t want to marry their son and they agreed, immediately.

But even today I feel sorry for him and for everything as well, my efforts and the time that I bestowed on him. I now realize that everything was a lie and he faked every time.

I still wonder why he played with my feelings intentionally. But I’m thankful to God that I knew about the truth before our marriage, otherwise, my life would have been doomed.

I feel free now, no more caged in someone’s wishes and desires. Now I can be myself and accomplish my dreams. I’m even hopeful that he will be punished for his wrong doings. I pray in silence that he doesn't spoil another girl's life.