He Tortured Me For 30 Years And Now I Don't Know Whether To Leave Or Take Revenge

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 29 April, 2018

Today at the age of fifty-eight and having just retired, I reflect on my journey through life. Being the youngest in a family of six, life before marriage was carefree and fun. My family being a business one, was prestigious and well known and I had every comfort one could ask for. Having had a string of boyfriends and breakups during my childhood didn't do much good to me.

at twenty four, under much pressure from my mother and society, I told my mother to find me a match and I would marry him. A decision I regret till this day.

The man, almost seven years older than me turned out to be a spiteful animal. He was an alcoholic and with a split personality, he just didn't care about my feelings. A month into our marriage, I had to share the bedroom with his sister and her family. He insisted on having sex with me while the audience watched. He would make personal attacks on my looks, education and family just to crush me and my self-image. Once when in a good mood, he asked me why I don't retaliate the same way but I knew it was only because I had been brought up differently. Unfortunately for me, I lost my mother in the fourth year of my marriage. Now I knew there was no hope of ever leaving this monster.

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I once took a decision to leave but was coaxed to stay back by my brothe-in-law. I had a second child and got involved with another man, he gave me the love and care I craved for. My in-laws and this monster knew I was having an affair, but I always denied it. I behaved as if he was only a family friend.

The only respite was that my husband worked away from home for a few months every year and was generous with his money. As I carried on in this situation, my children grew up. He treated them, especially my daughter in the most horrific manner possible and he would abuse her both physically and verbally. Life passed. I am now married for over thirty years, and last week for the first time, he has physically abused me. I hate him. He too has retired and spends his day eating, drinking and watching porn. My children ask me to pack up and leave him but that's exactly what he wants, and I won’t let him have his cake and eat it too. I don't feel bad to abuse him back and I am not ashamed of the monster I have turned in to. I didn’t expect my life to turn out like this.

While I still care for and take care of his mother, I wonder if I should pack up and leave now that the kids are grown up or should I stay back and take my share of revenge and break him, just like he did with me.
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