I’m an ordinary girl, I don’t have a heart-shattering past or an exciting present to share with you all. I’m definitely not a hopeless romantic or a soul with an unrequited love story. And it’s not because I’ve never been in love, or that I’ve never suffered a heart-break, it’s only because I love myself a little more than anybody else.
When I was in the 9th, I was dark-skinned, skinny as hell and well, to conclude I was ‘ugly’… or that’s at least what I thought.
I literally hated myself from the inside out because I was so ugly. And more than anything else, I realized this when a boy that I liked, rejected me solely because of my looks. At a very young age, I understood that your looks are the one and only thing that matters.
The following year, I met a guy who was honestly a sweetheart. We broke up because we were not compatible. We agreed to part ways, in a mutual way and more importantly, in a very positive way. After a few months, I met someone who was three years older than me, but I was insanely in love with him as he was with me. He was a poet, and I was his poetry.
I realized that it felt good to be someone’s pages in a diary, and to someone’s words of poetry. He personified me in a way that I didn’t, couldn’t, see myself. His aim in life was to make me feel happy and to marry me. The love that he had for me, it was amazing. I can never forget it. He made me fall in love with myself. He taught me to prioritize myself and he made me believe that I am beautiful, just the way I am.
You must be wondering, what happened then? Well, it ended. We ended. Not because he cheated on me, or I cheated on him or something like that. But because he moved away from me to see if I truly cared enough to pull him back again or not and I didn’t.
Because if he cared, he wouldn’t have done that in the first place; he wouldn’t have pushed himself away. We were both right in our own ways.
I just wanted to tell you that now, I’m a girl who loves herself more than anyone else on earth. And it’s my advice to all the people out there that no matter what you do, or who you are, or what you look like, you should have faith in yourself. I wasn’t able to keep that relationship, but I could keep the confidence that he had given me.
Getting pampered by a boy is a lovely feeling, but doing it to yourself, that’s something else! I’ve seen and met a lot of girls who hate themselves for being too skinny, too fat, too tall or too short… this list is endless. But trust me, you ARE beautiful the way you are.
Don’t think of me as emotionless because the break up didn’t bother me, but know that I understand, everything does happen for a reason. I won’t cry for him, not because I don’t love him, but because I am mature enough to let go.
He wasn’t the last guy who fell in love with me just as I’m not the last girl who fell in love with him. But I’m defintintely the only one who loves me for me and I can proudly say that I know exactly who I am. And I’m comfortable with it.
The question her is, have you made peace with who you truly are?