He Expected Me To Wait Forever While He Happily Stayed With His Wife

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 25 August, 2017

We first met at an office party, about ten days after I joined the organization. He was the Head of the Sales Division and was definitely considered a big shot. But I didn’t know much about him, except for having heard his name once or twice. My boss introduced me to him and he appeared to be a gentleman.

I was feeling suffocated at the party and went out to get some fresh air with a few of my colleagues. He joined us and started sharing his offsite experience. While the others were listening to him with great curiosity, I was not very keen, so I went inside to grab a drink. After a while, he came to me and initiated a conversation.

I had no apprehension in talking to him; in fact, he came across as a rather intelligent guy. Then he offered to drop me home and I agreed. When I informed my boss and other colleagues, neither of them forbade me from going with him. On our way back, we made small talk.

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We had a connection since day one.

Soon, we started talking on a regular basis. After a couple of months, he told me that he was getting engaged. No one else in the office knew about it. He would discuss the girl with me. We were becoming friends, in a way, though we had never spoken beyond office hours.

When he got married, everyone from office was invited. All of us went for the reception where he introduced me to his friends. It was a bit odd because it was his big day and there was no need to introduce me to his friends. But I let it go thinking that he did it casually without thinking much. When he returned from his honeymoon, he was very happy.

In the meantime, my parents also started looking for a suitable boy for me, which he was aware of. One day, he dropped a hint that he was not happy in his marriage. I didn’t want to intrude in his personal space, so I didn’t ask him much. I had seen his wife only once and found her to be nice. I thought that things would eventually get better.

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He started talking to me more often but only during office hours. He was about to travel somewhere for work and sounded very low. That was the first time he called me from outside office. I was getting a little worried for him, as he was very upset with his wife. I tried to cheer him up. I could see that we were getting really close as friends.

One day, we had a fight over some silly thing, which I don’t even remember why at all. But I didn’t speak to him for the entire day in office. At night, he ended up drunk-calling me from his friend’s place. I was surprised to see his call because he never called me when his wife was around. He told me that it was a boy’s night out but he wanted to talk to me. Suddenly, he proposed to me.

He confessed that he was very comfortable with me and that I was a lot like him.

That night, we spoke for a few hours. The next day, I was embarrassed to face him. He too didn’t say anything in the morning, so I thought that he must have forgotten whatever he’d said the previous night. But I was wrong. He met me during the break and told me that he really meant everything he said.

I didn’t say a yes or a no. Honestly, he was very good to me. I felt that he was a genuine guy who was broadminded and mature. He just seemed to be going through a rough patch. And I admit that I had also started liking him. We never met for a cup of coffee or went out on a date; it was only conversations and WhatsApp messages after work.

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It was more like a virtual relationship but I was content and happy. I never asked him about our future because I very well knew that we didn't have one.

My parents found a boy for me and our marriage was fixed. The guy was settled in another city. I told him about my relationship with the office guy and he was pretty cool about it. He said that such things happen and every relationship doesn’t have a name.

Also, I’d never had sex with the office guy because I was against it and secondly, we never met outside.

He asked for it but never forced me. I’d thought that he would tell me to not get married, but he didn’t. I guessed that our journey had come to an end but he would still be there for me as a friend.

When he called me after my wedding, his first question was whether I had had sex with my husband or not. I was taken aback!

I had a very good image of him. I’d always believed that he fell in love with me but things were not in his favor and hence, he couldn’t take any step. When I went back to work to serve my notice period, I could see a new him, someone who was extremely emotional about me. He seemed so restless! He wanted to end his marriage and start a new life with me. I did not know what to do.

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It was also very difficult for him to accept that I had had sex with my husband. He started making me feel guilty.

And we ended up having sex. Though I thought of it as lovemaking. But in reality, I fell into his trap! We decided that both of us would talk to our respective partners and separate from them within six months. Then we'd get married.

I told my husband everything and asked for a mutual divorce. He was fine with it but suggested that we stay together for a while and then proceed for separation as per law. I was totally disoriented; I knew that nothing was going well.

The following day, I spoke to the office guy and he asked me the same question, whether I'd had sex with my husband the previous night? I was slightly agitated because I had never asked him whether he slept with his wife or not. Yes, I did have sex with my husband and it was horrible!

My husband hacked my emails and read all our previous conversations. He even started tapping my phone calls.

He would abuse me and blackmail me. We stayed in the same room for a week. The only thing I will be forever grateful to my ex for is that he never forced himself on me. Though things were very bad between us.

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We'd fight every day. I also got to know a lot of things about his family. Though it was an arranged marriage, they basically deceived us. His parents were never happy with each other and both of them had illicit relationships. His father wanted a divorce at the age of 75, my husband and his sister were not his real kids and my husband's childhood was disturbed.

His father would talk to me but that was just another reason for a fight. On one occasion, I’d told him to ask his mother to stay with us but then I got to know that all they wanted was their father’s property and money. My life had become a circus!

In the meantime, I was not in touch with the office guy for a while because it was pre-decided that we'd sort things out with our partners and only then contact each other. But he called me even after I'd repeatedly asked him to not keep in touch as my phones were being tapped. He even came to meet me in my new organization.

I'd had a major fight with my ex the night before and hadn’t slept the entire night. My eyes were swollen as I had been crying for the last few hours. He saw me and understood the situation. When he spoke to me, I thought that he was my one and only.

But my dream was shattered within a few minutes because all he wanted was to have sex with me in the basement!

His logic was that if I could sleep with my husband, then why not with him! I had no answer. I was such a fool. I was in love with this guy. He ended up kissing me but we didn’t have sex. At the same time, my husband forced me to quit my job. He never wanted me to be independent.

Though I was educated, I gave in to him thinking that it would boost his ego.

But he was never good to me. He never even spoke properly to me; all we did was fight. I had suffered enough and decided to not stay with my husband. Luckily, I belong to a well-to-do family and so I didn’t have to worry about finances. Also I knew that I could easily find another job. My parents also believed in me, they wanted my happiness and supported me throughout.

Initially my ex didn’t agree for the separation but ultimately, he had to. The entire process took about three years. The office guy also showed his true colors. When I was living with my husband, he came to meet me in the office and gave me his FB id and password as a gesture of his closeness. He wanted me to see how lonely he was.

I did login and found his chats with his wife on the eve of my wedding. I was getting married to another guy and he was busy sending “I love you” messages to his wife. Not only that, he had also expressed his eagerness to sleep with her as he was traveling for work during that time. I was left speechless. This was his love for me! I think he’d forgotten to delete those messages but that brought me back to my senses.

When my divorce case was going on, he wanted me to commit that I would wait for him till he got a divorce, whether it took ten years or twenty, only then would he start the process. But I had come back to my senses, so I finally told him to get lost. However, that was not the end. 

He tried playing the victim card and started blaming me for his messed up life! I got married, went through hell, got divorced, started my new life but he is still living with his wife!

The last time that I spoke to him was a couple of months back, when he told me that I was so lucky to live a life like this. He even said that I must have started seeing someone. I knew that he would say crap like this! I blocked him from every possible place but he still calls me from unknown numbers.

His wife thinks I am the other woman in his life; how I wish I could tell her everything!

I know he will probably do it again, with someone else. Because he just can’t remain loyal to one woman.

I was not naïve yet I got misled. I come from a good and educated family, yet I made a fool of myself.

But I feel lucky that I got rid of these two morons. Initially I did blame myself, but now I realize that both these experiences taught me a lot of things.

Author's Note:

Some of you may think that my marriage ended because of the office guy. But the answer is no. I could have never lived with my ex; the office guy just worked as a catalyst. It was my destiny.