Confession Love Relationships one-sided love

He Didn't Care About My Looks But He Said My "Attitude" Was A Problem

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

"Will you forget him and move on?" everyone seems to be tired of telling me this. I don't know why they say it as if it's a one-step action. Over. Forgotten. Deleted. Is it that simple? How do I forget everything that he has ever given me? And if it's that easy, why do I feel all this pain?

I assure you, I don't want to live in sorrow by any chance. But I spend sleepless nights, crying and hurting, while reliving memories and daydreams. I don't want to be dramatic, I don't want the sympathy. But I'll admit one thing, it doesn't seem as easy as everyone makes it sound. I cannot stop hurting.

He also makes it look easy. I don't understand. How can he be so happy? How can he behave as if nothing has happened? Okay, I accept it, it's not two-sided love. But still, he used to be on a video call with me everyday for almost 4 hours! Does he have no recollection of all the memories we shared together? There were so many things that were ours, including the nights when we gave up on sleep and made time for each other.

I don't want him to cry either, that's the last thing I want. I just want us to be happy together! I'm not very beautiful, but he never bothered about looks. For some reason, he has always pointed a finger at my attitude instead. But why doesn't he understand my love for him?

I didn't pretend to be someone I'm not. I didn't act extra polished, I wasn't conscious, and I was always truthful with him. I wanted to be myself with the person I wanted to spend my life with. Was that a mistake? Is that why my attitude is problematic?

I didn't cheat on him or cheat myself by loving him. I don't want wealth or luxuries. All I want is him. I could live a simple life with him with some respect. That's all I ever need.

But today, he blocked my number everywhere. I keep asking him not to block me, I tell him it hurts my self-respect, but he still does it. Then he blocks all the numbers of my family members. Why? Why can't I just get one chance? I can't forget him and move on.

I get only one life and I want to spend it loving him. 

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