I'm a final year engineering student from south India. I'm an introvert and don't mingle easily with everyone. I take some time to get comfortable with people but once I do, people discover the crazy me.
Coming to my story, I met him in the English club in my college. He was senior to me by 2 years. Being a shy person, I did not speak to him immediately.
As days passed, I realized that I had developed a huge crush on him.
When I came across his Facebook profile, I sent him a friend request. Months passed by but he did not accept it. I got pissed and deleted the request.
However, I sent him another request and forgot about it after a few days. One afternoon, I got a notification saying that he had accepted my friend request. I was totally shocked!
I was scared to text him as he was my senior and would probably realize that I had a crush on him.
To my surprise, he started texting me. Initially, we would speak about general things. Soon, we started texting every day and developed a fondness for each other.
We would regularly meet at the English club and eventually, we became best friends. I felt that I'd found my best friend for life.
Little did I know that he was going to ditch me in a few months!
One day, he came crying to me and said that his first love had left him forever. That girl broke his heart. He narrated the entire story to me and I felt very bad for him.
The more he expressed his feelings for her, the more emotionally attached I felt to him.
But emotional attachments can mentally kill you. He told me, “There's only one way to get over her and that's you. I'll definitely get over her if I spend more time with you.”
Being his best friend, I was ready to do anything for him.
I started caring a lot for him and he always said that he liked the way I cared for him. There were many nights when I’d stay awake just to text him so that he didn’t feel lonely. I was doing my best.
He slowly moved on. Then he moved to a different city and started working.
Before he left, he made many promises saying that he'd stay with me forever, no matter what happened.
I believed him. I trusted him.
He called me his 'soulmate', 'best friend forever', 'non-biological sister'. He would always compliment me with words like beautiful, heroine, cute etc. Whenever I wore a sari, he would call me 'my girl'.
I thought he was just being friendly but he had other thoughts. Those that made me want to puke!
He sent me texts like 'I love you', 'I love you so much', 'I want to hug you',' I want to kiss you' etc. I ignored all those texts thinking that he had gone crazy. He didn’t drink or do drugs, so those were definitely not drunken texts.
I thought he was just fooling around but he had started expecting something from me.
I was completely unaware of it. The problem started when I told him that I missed him a lot. He ended up leaving his job for me. I couldn't believe it!
At first, I thought he was kidding. But later I realized what was happening and felt very bad and guilty.
We decided to meet in a restaurant and he expected me to propose to him. But I had no such intentions.
Once he understood that I was never going to reciprocate his feelings or involve myself in a romantic relationship with him, he started distancing himself from me.
I broke down. I texted him every day asking what the problem was?
Can you imagine how it feels when your best friend avoids you?
I was accustomed to waking up to his good morning texts, sleeping after speaking to him, being showered by compliments on wearing new dresses, our inside jokes, hundreds of memories, broken promises...the list goes on and on.
After a few days of begging him, he finally called to break up with me. I was shocked and broken! I cried and told him how special he was to me.
His reply was, “I know that this friendship is very important to you. I know that you need my support. But I'm not going to give it to you.”
I was shocked! That was the day when I realized how painful a breakup is.
I had healed his broken heart and he reciprocated by breaking mine into a million pieces!
He knew that I was a sensitive and emotional person. Yet, he decided to leave me. He gave the silliest reasons for leaving me and started blaming me for this breakup.
I obviously believed it at first. He insulted me, treated me like s**t and threw me away. I went behind him for 3 months asking for an apology. But not once did he apologize to me.
He called me a chameleon and hurt me to an extent that no one can.
I cried for so many days. Finally, I decided to move on and blocked him. However, he asked me to unblock him to resolve the issue. I finally thought that things would be fine.
But he started avoiding me again, took me for granted and even gifted me books on mental illness for my birthday. That’s when I made up my mind to never speak to him again and blocked him asking him never to contact me again.
I suffered for a few days and finally came out of my depression.
Recently he sent me an anonymous text on sayat.me saying that he loves me a lot and misses me.
Those texts rekindled something. But I requested him not to contact me again and blocked him on sayat.me.
Nobody can come into your life and leave as they please.
It's your life and only you can decide who must be in it or out. I haven’t found another guy best friend till now but I'm happy.
I'm now working on building a strong career. In a year’s time, I'll be in a metro city working for an MNC. I'm looking forward to meeting new people and making new friends. A new environment, new lifestyle, new people, new friends...Things will change.
The good news and bad news is that nothing lasts forever.
I've learned life lessons through pain and I'll never forget them. But at the same time, I won't shut everyone out of my life.
Just because a few guys are morons, doesn't mean that all guys are the same.
I’m looking forward to finding a good friend; someone who'll value me and respect me for who I am.