Relationships feminism heartbreak Dear Ex Boyfriend body shaming self respect indian woman skin colour

He Broke Up With Me Because His Friends Told Him I Was “Fat, Dark, Short And Ugly.”

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

My story begins when I was studying in class 11. I lived in the Gulf at that time. Until then, I had never had any best friends except one.

Actually, we never considered each other as best friends. We just knew we shared a beautiful and special bond. I would always call him ‘Boo.'

I was already in touch with another handsome guy since 10th grade. I would always stalk him on Facebook. And strangely enough, I found him when I was searching for someone else. He looked so handsome in his white uniform that I immediately sent him a friend request. 

I was overjoyed when he accepted it.

Initially, we did not chat much but over a period of time, we progressed to chatting regularly. I didn't have a cell phone of my own so we couldn't talk to each other.  But I was happy to spend my time chatting with him. One day he proposed to me out of the blue. My heart wanted to say "Yes" but I didn’t accept his proposal for a year.

We had exchanged our photographs but we had never seen each other so far. When I accepted his proposal my life seemed like a fairy tale. I would feel very happy when I chatted with him because I was always traumatized by my parent’s rude attitude towards me.

We helped our mothers during Ramadan. We said our prayers in time and continued to keep in touch with each other. The entire month of Ramadan passed beautifully because we would keep checking on each other. We would go to sleep after Futhoor and Fajr Namaaz!

Two months later I could sense something wrong.

But I chose to ignore it because I loved him so dearly. He then stopped chatting with me. I was devastated.

I begged him to tell me what was wrong. And his reply nearly killed me. He said, “I have lost interest in you.”

I was completely shattered when he said this. I cut my wrist and my arms and created a lot of problems in my home. I suffered through this bad phase for almost a month and a half.

To top it all I came to know that he was in another relationship. That literally tore me apart.

I met him for the first time in real life a year later in my tuition classes. Our eyes would often meet. We would smile and wink at each other.

I was happy to share even this kind of a bond with him though I knew that the charm of our old bond was no longer there. One day I asked him why he had broken up with me. I was horrified when he said, “My friends told me that you were short, dark, fat and ugly!”

I knew I was not as fair as him but I was not dark! We parted ways after completing our 12th standard. I know that he now lives in Cochin. I met him several times after that. But it took me 5 whole years to finally move on from him. One of our common friends brought an end to our relationship. He studied in my college and was his neighbour. He told him about the bad phase I had experienced when he broke up with me all those years ago. I never expected him to give me a reply like that.

But when I heard his reply I became stronger and I realized that I WAS DONE with him.
I am now with someone else who knows my past, accepts me the way I am and loves me immensely.

Yet, we are still friends. Even today, whenever I hear his voice or get his call or message I get butterflies in my stomach. He was my first love and I know I can never forget him.

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