Dear Society, I Didn't Want To Be Me Husband's Slave: I'm Sorry

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 25 September, 2017

Why is divorce still a taboo in India?

I’m 24 years old; I married a man out of my own will. I married him for me. I was deeply in love with him but our lives changed as soon as we got back from our honeymoon.

This man I was in love with, he wasn’t stable in anything. He didn’t have a job, we had to depend upon his parents for our daily lifestyle. I couldn’t sit and watch us use up his father’s money like this, and so I decided that I would get a job.

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The one I got, wasn’t a lot of money, but it was enough for me. Apparently, not for him. He was happy with the money coming in, but he wasn’t delighted about the fact that I was the wage-earner in his life. He started abusing me, verbally at first, and then physically.

Turns out, in his house, they never respected women: and they expected me to come home and help out in the kitchen after my hours in the office.

I have in-laws who say things like, “A wife’s duty is to do what her husband says and never answer back.” They even believe that at times, you have to hit your wife in order to get her to truly, “listen” to what you’re saying.

I know that he was the guy that I chose. That he is the one that I decided to spend the rest of my life with. I knew that if I went back home, the whole society would give my parents hell for first, allowing me to marry him out of my own will, and secondly, for coming back.

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One day, I couldn’t take the beating anymore. I was tired and my inner voice urged me to leave this man.

I didn’t care about what society said. I was fine being called a 'young divorcee'. Why should I live with someone who expected me to live as his slave? Why am I not seen as the victim here? How am I supposed to live with a man who physically assaults me every single day, only because I earn more than him?

I’ve shifted back with my family. I’ve not applied for divorce yet because I know that society is going to give my family grief for this.

Women expect respect from a marriage, this shouldn’t be such a difficult thing to ask for.