Daughter Marriage open letter feminism daughter-in-law in-laws

Dear Parents-in-law: I Can't Stand The Way You Think And I'm Not Sorry

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

Dear “Parents-in-law”,

I was raised by a feminist mother, so the difference between a girl and boy hardly matters to me.

Every time you come to our place, you leave me miserable and shattered as I do not understand why you're so sexist at times. I always wanted to be treated the way I was treated at “my home”. But now that I realize I am the so-called “bahu” and I have no right but just to serve like a servant.

No matter how many maids I engage, you will always shame me with the concept that I hired them when they are not required, by doing their job on my own. Trust me I don’t care as I tried my best to make you guys feel comfortable. But I cannot tolerate it if you try to shame me or compare me with the other “bahus” around. I am a different person and I cannot be them. Also, I do not trust you when you say that "live your life" or "enjoy" because the next moment you make no less effort to screw that concept.

I respect you but I cannot let you treat me like a doormat. I cannot clean all the stuff when you call all your relatives for dinner and then ask your son not to help me. Really you've done that several times.

I am sorry, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut when you were bitching about one of your relatives who's a girl. I just couldn’t listen to the reasoning behind why she is a girl and has brought shame to her family.

I am sorry for refusing to eat the leftover food from last night. I have never done that and being a bahu doesn’t make me eat that leftover alone. "Let’s distribute it" was my reply.

I am sorry but I cannot hear every time that you want a grand SON. This makes me sick in the stomach. We are in 2017 for crying out loud. And sorry but my surname will remain the same, I will never change it.

I am sorry that I am writing all this but trust me, I wanted to be treated like a daughter and not as a daughter-in-law. Now that we are in the law phase, you are also my parents–in–law and not parents.

Thank you for helping me come out of the hypothetical phase where I believed that parents-in-law are parents and vice versa. The difference is huge.

Yours (never) truly. 

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