Dear Other Woman, It's Because Of You That I'll Never Be Able To Trust Him Again

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 21 May, 2017

Because a woman is another woman's biggest enemy.

I dated my boyfriend Raghav (now husband) for almost 5 years before getting married. We had a beautiful beginning with a lot of romance, intimacy, fun etc. Time flew by, and we finished our MBA. We got placed and he moved to another city, which was just 2 hours away from mine. Initially, he visited every weekend so that we could spend time. As days passed we were getting pressurized for marriage from our respective families.

He was from different caste so it took me 2 long years to convince one family. One night we had a very disturbing fight, where he gave me an ultimatum; if my dad didn’t agree within some days he would break up with me. Surprisingly, the next day my dad said yes. It was like God saw something and waved his magic wand at me. 

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But like they say with every magic comes a curse! Raghav wasn’t happy at knowing that my dad had given a nod. He told me he didn’t want to marry because he felt I wasn’t compatible with him.

Somehow after a lot of discussions, fights and some assurance we decided to get married. One day, I realized my father’s attitude towards this marriage had changed in a very negative way. He was not getting involved in any preparations and was not showing any interest in talking to Raghav and his family.

After a few days, I came to know something that shattered my soul in and out. One of my aunts told me that a strange girl called my dad, and requested and begged him not to get me married to Raghav.

She said that he and his family were against this marriage and that she had seen a girl come out of his house many times. This broke the harmony in my family. We were lost and didn’t know what to do.
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Within a few days she called my dad again and confessed that she mistook Raghav for some other guy and she was really apologetic about it. But I happened to recognize her voice. She was Raghav’s colleague and they worked together.

My heart went numb! I confronted him about the call without informing my family, which was my biggest mistake. Raghav told me that she was just a friend and didn’t mean anything to him.

She had called because she was worried about Raghav and thought he was forcefully getting married to me. I believed him and over the months we got married.

Raghav is a very nice person in general, helpful, kind, smart and independent. He would never think of hurting anyone. Our initial months were rosy and happy, but there were some days when I'd find him lost and unhappy.

Meanwhile, Raghav and I hung out with his colleague twice or thrice. She seemed very clever and fake, and would purposely would make her closeness with Raghav obvious in front of me.

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The worst moment came when I saw some compromising pictures of that girl on Raghav’s laptop. My whole world was torn apart. It was the worst pain I had come across in my life.

Raghav accepted his affair with her because he thought he had no future with me as my dad was against this marriage and I was not ready to elope. The next few months were terrible for us. We had bad fights and our families were really upset. But they asked us to give this marriage a chance and move on.

I would like to mention that Raghav was really patient all this while. Out of his goodness and guilt, he took all my fights, taunts, disrespect, anger and insults which he had an option not to deal with.

Also during this time, he did whatever he could to win over the love we had lost. It took us 2 long years to accept this fact that we have to live with this terrible baggage for our whole life.

Raghav realized that there is no easy way out. He was all set to leave me and be in a relationship with her. But little did he know that God was watching, and both their bad intentions didn’t work. Sometimes I feel it was really unfair and unjustified. But watching him truly give this another chance, I felt it was my duty too.

But I would definitely like to give this message to that girl:

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Firstly, you really need to understand that I didn’t take him away from you. He was really never yours, as you can see the result; he could never take a stand for you. 

Secondly, you mentioned once  that he doesn’t love me but he surely cares a lot about me. But don’t you think caring is the biggest form of love!

Thirdly, stop thinking that the world is in your control and that you can fool anybody and be manipulative. You had no right to screw my relationship and spoil my family’s happiness.

I know he has done something more terrible to you than to me, but you let him do it especially when you knew all this while that he was still in a relationship with me.

Just because he was vulnerable doesn’t mean you should have completely changed his love towards me. But if handled with honesty and integrity you would have been with him now.

Remember, karma is the reflection of what you give to the universe. When your marriage will fall in such a crisis because of another woman, you will understand this soul tearing, unbelievable pain, the insecurities and humiliation you go through.

It is because of you that I can never trust another woman again! Next time think before you act.