Indian Society Confession Mother Daughter Marriage orthodoxy

Dear Mom, You Were Wrong When You Said You Didn't Need A Son

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

Ever since my childhood days, I have heard people asking my mother why she didn't plan for a son and I have witnessed the confidence in her eyes whenever she said she doesn't need a son because she is blessed with two wonderful daughters. Being the elder one among the two, I was always elated with her response.

Both my parents never made us feel that they ever wanted a son even though they were constantly reminded of how helpless they are without a son, by the over intrusive people around us. I was always a proud daughter and my only dream in life had been to make my parents feel proud. But this 'was' my dream. I am not supposed to dream about making my parents happy anymore now that I am married.

I had just started working towards my dream when I got hitched. My parents couldn't reject a seemingly perfect proposal and I couldn't make them unhappy by refusing. So, I gave in.

I consoled myself saying that even though I will stay away from my parents, I am still going to be the daughter they are proud to have and I will still fulfill my responsibilities just like a son would. But alas, I was being too vulnerable to think like that!

Marriage is certainly the purest relationship, wherein two souls are tied together for life but for the woman, marriage is also kind of a trap which restricts her from being her true self.

You may not take care of your parents emotionally and financially but it is your utmost duty to take care of your husband's parents, just because you are married now. You need to forget every detail from your past life - your blood relationships, your parents’ sacrifices for you, your dreams, your aspirations, even your old address, only because you are married now. You should not miss your mom much, nor should you long to see her because you are married now. You cannot even visit your parents without permission from your new 'caretakers' because you are married now. Your parents have no right on you whatsoever, because you are married now.

Does giving birth to a daughter bring less pain to the mother or does fulfilling his daughter's dreams demand lesser hard work from the father? Certainly Not. Then why is there so much favoritism in society?

I, myself, am strong enough to become a rebel when needed. I can do what is required to break all these useless stereotypes and social norms but then I look at my parents and stop myself. They have accepted me as a part of someone else's family now and they will consider it as a shame upon them if I try to help them in any way.

So the moral of the story is simple: if you are a girl and if you decide to get married then be prepared to detach yourself from your own family in each and every way possible.

My mom would never think this way but dear mom, you were wrong when you said you didn't need a son. I believe that every parent needs a son because no matter how much a daughter tries, her efforts will never match the privilege bestowed upon sons by our society.

Daughters will always be considered as the so-called 'paraya dhan'. Even after being capable of taking care of her parents, it's quite rare to see in our country that a beti actually stands up to take responsibility when they need it the most.

I die inside every day, lost in thoughts like these. I have done nothing substantial for my parents till date. I do not know how many daughters in India will agree with me on this but I have something to say:

Dear sick Indians, next time I won't hate you when you shamelessly suggest a couple to plan for a son. Not because I agree with your crap mentality but because I don't want another daughter to shed tears for life, like me.

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