Dear Girl Who Wants To Have The Freedom To Do Anything, The Crime Is Yours

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 25 April, 2017

When you convey that your are available by wearing short skirts and roaming freely at night, of course men will be seduced. If you are eve teased, the crime is yours.

How can women work late nights? You are supposed to make dal and roti for dinner and not be a doctor who saves a life or a software developer who puts Indian IT on the world map. How can you even imagine that you are independent? Your dad, brother, or husband must always be by your side.

People like me, who don’t have siblings or have lost their dad early must never step out of the house. If you do, men have all the rights to molest you. The crime is yours.
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When a guy professes his love to you, the first thing you must do is, thank him for being your superhero, and immediately accept him as your savior (not just husband). If for silly reasons like your education, ambition, family acceptance or interest in another man (most silly), you refuse his proposal, be prepared for the acid spa. The crime is yours.

If someone on the road or at work expresses sexual interest for your body parts, you must appreciate it as his talent and taste in literature. How stupid of you to think of it as an abuse? 

Can women think of ‘having fun’? Boys are supposed to have fun — not you! Molesting and raping women who venture out at night is not even categorized as having fun. In fact, the guys are teaching those shameless girls a good lesson. Men have the liberty to even pee in public. But mind you, even if your neckline is a millimetre deeper or your skirt is an inch shorter than what's deemed appropriate according to the Indian sanskari standards, boys will make mistakes. Don’t dare blame them. The crime is yours.

When a guy tries to touch you inappropriately, fall on his feet and tell him, “Brother, I am your sister. I am sorry for wearing wrong clothes. Please forgive me.” If you do this with tears in your eyes, he will give you a slap or two as punishment and pardon you. If you scold him or try to put up a tough fight, he will of course get angry and ruin your life. So now you know. The crime is yours.
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Most Indian girls face molestation quite early on, even before they start understanding what sex is. All the breast squeezing, back patting, and hip pinching that happens in places of worship, buses, and markets- are they also because of women? Of course, the crime is ours!

So, what about the 5 year old girl who was harassed at school? She smiled at her bus driver that morning and he found the tiny smile inviting. The crime is not his.

The 50 plus lady who was raped and killed by her driver who was younger than her son? She did not give him the Diwali bonus and so he decided to teach her a lesson. The crime is not his.

The girls who were touched at all the wrong places, in the middle of the road during New Year celebrations? Who in the first place gave women the permission to celebrate New Years? The crime is yours, girls!

So next time you see a kid, girl, or lady being harassed, just choose to call her shameless, speak ill of her character (like men do as usual), and walk your way.

When your buddies are having fun touching girls at crowded places, do not get disgusted or disagree with them. Just join the fun. Guys singing wonderful Bollywood songs that clearly explain the physical features of a lady? Appreciate their talent. Even if she cries for help, don’t bother. Do not waste a second in shouting at the guy or fighting with him. After all, the crime is hers!

Author's Note:

I am an engineer with no interest in maths or electronics. I travel, paint and write at chalktalktales.com. This article is for all those who blame women for the crimes that are inflicted on us, as if the crime itself was not enough.

Editor's Note:

Despite the many shameful and public sufferings, women are still not spared the victim-blaming. Share this story so that more people may become aware and sensitive about it. Let the crime not be yours also.