"Get a breast reduction surgery. Let's see how many friends you're left with then."
These were the wise words spoken by my ex to me after we broke up. We spent four years of our lives together and it all came down on my breasts (no pun intended). I have what you'd call big boobs, but I don't like to put it that way. My ex thought I made friends because of the pair, not my personality.
I don't think they were the reason why I have so many friends, or what helped me make my way to the top (no pun intended again).
I have friends because of the same reason why others do... you get along with people. You make friends because you find that you're very similar and your dissimilarities complement your similarities. The ones that stick around are not there because of how you look. It's not like they are getting anything out of your physical appearance!
And I have slogged my ass off to be where I am career-wise. I have climbed the ladder very cautiously. I have earned every bit of what I have respectfully.
To be absolutely honest, my breasts have been more of a problem than anything else to me. Being born in a country like India, where women are taught to repress their sexuality from a very early age, I was constantly told to wear loose clothes, and/or always have a dupatta on. If you think wearing what I want to is what I am fighting for, that's not it. They always make me look older than I am, I can never find the right bra and those push-ups in the gym are ever-so-hard. And the backache! Plus the fact that I can't sleep on my stomach makes everything worse.
Well, what I am trying to say is that my 'assets' are not assets. At least, I never looked at them that way.
I never considered myself to be beautiful (at least not as per Indian standards). I am dusky, curvy and not very tall. I was hardly ever complimented back in India by men or women. But since I moved to Europe, I have learned otherwise. People here think I am beautiful! Exotic, pretty, unique are some words that they would use for me. I am not a shallow person, but who doesn't like compliments?
I am very happy with how life has panned out for me. Like I said, I have worked to achieve what I have right now. I love my job, my family, my friends, and my soon-to-be husband.
You know, sometimes I think about my childhood insecurities, (oh, there were plenty) and wonder how I turned out to be this confident person that I am today.
The only answer I have for this doubt is that I believed in myself. I knew I know myself better than anyone else. So, whenever someone would call me names, I would not let that affect me. I would still walk with my head held high.
I've never been good at sharing life lessons but one thing my horrible ex did teach is that you must never let anyone tell you that you're 'something' (read: ugly, fat, dark, stupid, boring etc..the list goes on). What people think of you reflects on them more than it does on you.
You are what you aspire or aim to be and no one can stand in your way.
This post was submitted by 'Basic Bitch'.