Women Confession Marriage Mental health emotional

Being Emotionally Dependent Upon My Husband Is The Worst Thing I Did

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I'm a 23 year old girl, married for almost a year and half. Mine was an arranged marriage and my husband is also very young. He was 23 and I was 21 when we got together in the marital bond.

I was never into relationships and didn't know what to expect from a partner. Life before marriage was dreamy. It was like a bed of roses.

I was very naive to understand where there are roses there will thorns too. He used to make me feel very special. This period lasted for 7 months and then we were married off in a grand style. Problems in our marriage started coming very early. I was very angry at him as he invited his ex girlfriend for our marriage and sangeet party where I was not invited. It was hosted by the groom's side and they didn't even care to invite me.

We fought regarding this issue numerous times but we were happy being with each other at the same time. I couldn't even spend a day without him. Then came the time when he flew to the United States of America. I couldn't join him due to my studies and financial issues. When he left, my world stopped. I was crying like a baby for 3 months. I loved him with all my heart.

Misunderstandings grew as the distance grew. He was like out of sight, out of mind for me.

My parents and elders got tired of explaining things to us. It's been a year since we saw each other. He stopped calling me for months together, saying I was a sadist. He says I should change. I was depressed and attempted suicide many times. Now I'm out of depression, living with my parents and medical support. He still refuses to take me with him. It's like an NRI nightmare.

Moving out of this relationship is not so easy as I still have a soft corner for him, after all he did for me. I don't know for how long I will be able to hang on to this relationship. I am a fool to believe whatever he said before marriage. Being emotionally dependent upon someone is wrong maybe. People take advantage of you and play with your emotions. 

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