Arranged Marriage For A Girl Means The Torture I Don't Want To Face: Future Husband, Please Read

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 4 July, 2017

I'm just wondering- was arranged marriage fun in the earlier days? You got to know a new person, have a new family, explore a new lifestyle- was that supposed to be exciting?

Today, arranged marriage is pressurizing people get to know each other within a few days and get married. How much can you find out about a person in a day, a week, a month, or a year? You don't even get that much time to get to know someone before an arranged marriage. Getting to know someone is a learning curve that needs its own time.

Whenever people say 'arranged marriage', they immediately think about family pressure. I was in the same situation when I was 26. So, just like everyone else, I agreed to meet some men from matrimonial platforms. This is what I learnt from my horrible, degrading experience-

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Firstly, society has a question paper-
Abhi tak shaadi nahi hui? Koi chakkar chal raha hai kya?
Bola tha itna mat padana! Ab ladka kahaan dundoge iske liye?

A girl's profile is judged from top to bottom, and each word is scrutinized. If the girl is educated, she will have an attitude; if she is not, she is a dumbo and fit for nothing. If she had stayed in a hostel, she would have slept around with people; if she was at home throughout her life, she doesn't know anything about the world.

If she is independent "Pata nahi kya kya kiya hoga isne? Kahi bhi chali jati hai aise.” If she is not capable of going out and doing her work, then she is too dependent.

Before you meet someone face-to-face, if you don't text them enough, they say "Isn't she interested? Is she out with someone else?", but if you text frequently, "She's so chipku, will she give me space after marriage?"

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When you meet for the first time and don't talk much, "She is such an introvert, how will she get along with family?", and if you talk a bit, "She must have surely attracted several men with this attitude."

If the girl wants to work, she is too career oriented; if she doesn't want to work "Uff, I have to take care of her also, while she sits at home and warms chairs!"

If she is good looking, she must have been in a relationship with a guy; if she's not good looking, she's not my type.

How well can you judge a person by just reading a matrimonial profile? I must be the only person who doesn't have such a talent because I still believe in learning about people slowly and gradually. You can't just imagine how the next stage of your life will be and see how the other person reacts.

As for men, I'm sorry to say that they don't even know what they want. If you guys are in your late 20's, then you want to enjoy life; if you're in your early 30's, you want to study some more and settle down quickly. Dude, what have you been doing these 30 long years without studying?

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You don’t want a girl who is more qualified than you (attitude), equally qualified (ego), or less qualified (dumbo). This is all just the beginning. Each word the girl utters is like digging her own grave.

Guys take a pause, forget your past relationships- you and her were both children back then. Open up, think broadly, and be sure of what you want. Tell your parents clearly when you want to get married. If you don’t have the balls to do such a small thing, how will you even stand up for your wife?

Author's Note:

If you’re confused about what kind of girl you want in your life, then how will you take major decisions later? Don’t treat us like clothes you want to try, check two or three times, then walk off. It’s a request from my side- please don't damage a girl's morale by rejecting her for silly reasons. Be firm on your decision and reason out well.

I would like to cherish the world famous Indian arranged marriage whole-heartedly. I would like to give my parents a chance to choose well for me. I want to respect a person for who he is, and participate in his dreams. I just want the same thing in return.

Editor's Note:

Share this story so that no one else has to beg to be given their due respect.