A Page From The Diary Of A Fearless Single Mother

Vriti Kulshrestha Vriti Kulshrestha in Single Women Bad Women on 12 August, 2017

Over past few years I have learnt a lot about life, love, society and friendships. I sat back and evaluated my life and I realized it was time to ask myself some hard questions, like “What if I never get married? Have I built enough meaningful connections to sustain a happy life, even without a significant other?” Believe me, those were NOT fun questions to confront.

The thought that I might never find my person isn’t even a concept I’ve entertained up to this point. And yet, the reality is…there’s a chance it might not ever happen for me.

But why is this the reality of most single mothers in Indian Society? Why the society is, all day long on the constant effort of finding a reasonable explanation for our seemingly endless singleness. Here are three hurtful misconception of the Indian Society which we face on a regular basis

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· Thinking there’s something wrong with us because we are separated.

There’s nothing wrong with us because we have raised our voice against disrespect. There’s no deep explanation here or hidden secret. We refuse to be mistreated and want our kids to learn how to respect people despite of all the facts in the world. It is not a curse thrust upon us.

It’s not something to be ashamed of. It’s not an insult or a weapon to be hurled at us, as our society unfortunately often does.

And you know what? It caused me great distress and worry and anxiety to consider the fact that my family will be broken. BUT…being separated doesn’t mean that I am lacking, or deficient, or non-adjusting or romantically challenged. Stop blaming women and putting the weight of broken and screwed up marriage on us.

· Thinking that our lives don’t serve a purpose unless we’re married.

We have an Identity. We are multi-dimensional, unique, talented, purposeful, meaningful people with hugely important lives and destinies. A marriage can certainly bring us great happiness and fulfillment and even new purpose and meaning. But it cannot and will not ever define or replace our greater sense of purpose. There is something we and only we are meant to do with our life that isn’t dependent upon a relationship to make it happen. You don’t need a significant other to lead a significant life.

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· Thinking that we have to wait around for a relationship to realize our destiny.

It’s time to stop waiting and start LIVING. We don’t have to merely sit idly and wait for the day when a prince comes riding up on his white horse and the two of us gallop off into the sunset of our destiny. Our destiny is in the here and NOW. We are POWERFUL. Today. This moment. Right now.

I don’t know what it is, I can’t possibly tell you what your destiny on this planet is, but I CAN tell you that had I not made the choice to follow my passion and chase my dreams and pour my heart and soul into making the world around me a better place right where I was…you wouldn’t be reading this right now.

I had to get past my singleness and decide that I had things to do with my life and I didn’t have time to wait around for a man to come along for me to do them. Do all the things you want to do with your life RIGHT NOW.