You'll Never Find Your Special Someone Because You're Too Busy Swiping The Other Way

Anonymous Anonymous in Bakkar. Chai. Sutta on 22 February, 2018

In the recent past, it's come to my notice, more surely now than a few months ago, that love, like all other human emotions and decisions, is now being influenced, altered and majorly affected by the ease of technology. There's always someone else to fall back on, a swipe right, a tweet here and a like there.

There's no need for that extra effort these days, because there is always someone else just around the corner, a touch of a button away.

There were those precious times of letters filled with yearning, that spoke deeply of compassion and love. Before you mock or pin me as the 'classic romantic', let me remind you that I'm not talking about a past where horse-carriages roamed the cobbled streets, and women went off to dances in barns hoping they would find their Prince Charming’s.

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No doubt, I do wish I was born in that era instead of now, because those certainly were simpler times.

I'm talking about a not-so-recent past. When there was a man I wrote long letters to, and he travelled hours just to see me smile. A man I spent hours talking to, till the dark skies of the night turned to a reddish hue. A man who had twinkling eyes and a dairy milk in his hand every time he saw me. A man, I thought I would end up being with, till death do us apart. Alas, that love story ended abruptly. And while I have no regrets, no 'what if' questions hanging in the air, I do just have one teeny tiny problem: that was the first and last time that I loved someone.

Truly, madly, and passionately. Together, we were invincible. Every fight just pulled us back together, and every letter only closer. What went wrong? Well that's a story for another day. Where is he now? Living his own Happily Ever After with his Mrs. Right.

And yes, I'm extremely happy that he found someone but in all of this, where does it leave me? Am I even ready to explore the new world of men out there? Maybe yes. Am I equipped to do so? Nope.

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There was a time when it was merely just fate that brought two people together. Today, a sea of apps and various social media sites seem to be taking over.

Gone are the days when you had to wait to be introduced to the boy next door. You can now merely find him (read: stalk), swipe right or shoot him a message. Chances are, he would have done the same in a couple of days, if you wouldn’t have. So where does my problem lie? Well, how do I explain this to you? For someone who believes in a world of prince charming's, fairy tales and happy endings, technology has become one of my worst enemies. I won't deny that I have attempted to use not one, but two dating apps and have met a total of 6 boys. Where's the problem then? The same helping hand that I used to get me out of a situation, was the same one that pulled me down.

No one has patience anymore. Hell, even I don't! You don't like the way things are going? Block. You don't want to hear what the person has to say? Block. You don't like his WhatsApp profile picture? Block. Block. Block. Block. Swipe. Swipe. Swipe. Block. Block. Block. Swipe. Swipe. Swipe.

Do you get the point? Now somewhere in this blocking and swiping, what if you chance upon someone special? Someone who stops you in your tracks and your thumb hesitates to swipe left? Someone who doesn't make you want to hang up. Someone with whom you want a simple coffee date to last for hours? Things start brewing, from one innocent coffee to two coffees, a few drinks, some dinners, a kiss and then Boom. A tiff. A lover's quarrel. What do people call mini, nonsensical and entirely avoidable arguments, lately? So that happens. And then, the worst of it all, radio silence. An ego battle for who texts first.

The eternal dilemma with yourself, will I seem desperate if I text him first? Will she think I'm "too into" her if I text her first? Then comes more silence.
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A once upon a time hyperactive chat is now making its way lower and lower on your WhatsApp chats screen. There are no notifications coming in, that make your heart skip a beat, anymore.

No more calls or spontaneous plans that leave you smiling. Radio silence. It's been days, and you decide you should say something, or is it too late now?

In haste and anger, you delete the E-matchmaker, furious that it could have given you a hint of something so lovely, and at the same time turn you into this person. Another day passes. Radio silence. You decide to vent to a friend. Your mind is in 100 places at once. Friends always have the best solutions or if nothing, will accompany you over some wine to distract you. You explain the situation to her. She listens patiently. She asks you for his name and stalks him on social media, to verify if he is the Casanova she has heard about.

You freeze. "Listen. He just swiped right to my friend two days ago. They're meeting tonight for dinner or coffee I think." "F**k” You hear yourself say, from far, far away.
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