complexion body shaming body image society

When I Am Happy With My Skin, Why Can't Those Around Me Let Me Be?

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

When people around you judge you for your clothes, your body, your complexion or maybe something else because they aren't gonna stop talking about such stuff, you should think that they are nobody to judge or point out flaws in you.

I went through this in my teenage, I was body shamed and was on the receiving end of rude comments about my skin tone and my thin body. Eventually, I learned to ignore them as their opinion doesn't matter to me now.

Recently, I was at a ceremony and one of my relatives pointed me out with such sweet compliments. Here is the conversation:

Relative(in hindi): Bhot achhi lgri hai, tere features bhi achhe hai, bas rang ka kuch kar. Itni fairness creams hai market main try karke dekh kuch farak padta hai toh, nhi toh beta desi ilaj bhi hai itne vo karke dekh.(Translated to English: You are looking so beautiful, you have very nice features, but you should do something about your complexion. There are so many fairness creams in the market, give them a try, otherwise try some home-made stuff, try them.)

Me: Thanks, par mujhe zarurat nhi padti apni skin tone ko change krne ki. Mujhe nhi farak padta agar dhoop main hone se mera skin colour par effect pad raha hai. I am comfortable with however I am. Itne saal bahut kuch suna but ab maine sochna chod dia hai. Logo ko mujhe aise hi accept karna hoga, mere complexion ke base par nahi.(English: Thanks but I don't feel the need to change my complexion. I don't care if I am out on a sunny day and it tans my skin. I am comfortable with however I am. It took me years to not get affected by the comments of people and so I have stopped thinking about this. People who are in my life should accept me me like this and not based on my complexion.)

R: Bol toh theek rahi hai par society bhi hoti hai uska sochna padta hai, log bolte hai, kal ko shaadi hogi sabko sundar bahu chahiye.(English: You're right but think about the society, people talk. Someday you're gonna get married, they would want their daughter-in-law to be beautiful.)

After that, I just didn't feel the need to explain more. You can't do after a certain point. Most of the people in india are sooo obsessed with fair skin. I don't understand why. What does my complexion have to do with my marriage. Shouldn't my partner like me based on how I am as a person? I also get comments about my hair being too short. I mean seriously?? Can't I have short hair without getting illogical comments?

I will never adjust to the ways of some other person or their definition of perfect. I want to be my kind of perfect. Hell, everyone should be. We're living in the 21st century, stop making comments about people please. I am sure you have lot more important stuff to focus on. One should encourage others to be comfortable in their skin rather than make them question if they are good enough or not.

To the ones who are reading this, if you feel that you lack something or people mock you, make fun of you, then do not let it affect you. We have two ears, listen from one and let it get out from the other. Embrace yourself as you're one of a kind and you do not need to prove anything to anyone. Be the best version of you everyday.

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